Taking a nap with Mommy

So today is Sunday, and after Mommy and Daddy got home from church and had lunch, Mommy decided she needed a nap.

You know Mommy has been trying to get a nap for weeks because she is tired and her back hurts. Since Daddy was home she figured he would watch us (meaning me) so that she could sleep without worrying about what clothes were being shredded and what books were being chewed and what cat toys I was collecting in my belly or what else I was doing that might make me have to go back to the hospital.

Scout is a good dog so he decided to go hide somewhere and take a nap, too. But I decided that wherever Mommy went, I wanted to go.

Except that I was locked with Daddy in the living room. So I kept banging on the glass living room doors - and banging and banging and banging. And Daddy kept trying to get me to stop and stop and stop. But I know that if you bang enough the doors will open just a little and you can squeeze through. (You should know that in case Daddy ever locks you in the living room.)

To keep me quiet, Daddy took us outside for a while, and when we came in, I snuck by him and ran right upstairs and jumped on Mommy and woke her up with my cold nose and wet paws. She was sound asleep and she hardly woke up except to shove me off her head before Daddy came and got me and shoved me into my crate.

So Daddy sat all cozy in the recliner watching TV, Mommy was all cozy upstairs in the bed sleeping (with Murphy, which I didn't think was fair), and Scout was all cozy taking a nap in Mommy's office. And I was in my crate.

What kind of a Mommy and Daddy put their puppy in the crate even when everyone is home?

I actually didn't mind. I like my crate. So I got a rest, too.

When Mommy got up, I was very nice to her because I really missed her. Daddy said he didn't know what else to do with me so that Mommy could get a good nap, because all I did for an hour was bang on the doors to try and get to her.

Daddy said that I don't care about him, but that's not true. I care about him a lot. But me and Mommy are attached like Timmy and Lassie. If Mommy fell down a well, I would jump down there with her.

Plus, I really wanted some tea. When Mommy got up she made some and we shared a cup. (Well, I stole some when she turned her head, which is pretty much the same thing.)

So me and Mommy had a nice nap and tea. It was a pretty good Sunday, even if I did have to spend some of it in my crate while Mommy was upstairs without me.

Love, Bandit

PS: Don't you think that dogs should be allowed to go to church? I do.

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I like Mommy's new book

So Mommy went to the grocery store today and then she went to the used bookstore to get some books to read.

Then she went to have lunch at Daddy's restaurant. (SCHALLERS! Go to Schallers in Brighton and have Daddy make you french fries. He makes the best french fries!! I know because in the summer, I got to go there and eat french fries.)

Anyway, Mommy took a book in with her to read while she ate, and when she came home the book was in her purse. So while she put the groceries away I ate her book.

I only ate the top part. I didn't eat the last page, like I did last time I ate her book and she didn't know how the story ended because the ending was in my belly. So I don't know why she's so mad.

It was a good book. It tasted like french fries!

Love Bandit

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Bandit's bath adventure

That Mommy is a super trickster.

This morning, she took Scout with her to the credit union to see the ladies. They were gone a long time, and when they got back, Scout's fur was wet.

Before I could ask him where else he went Mommy yelled, Come on Bandit! Let's go on an adventure!

So I jumped in the car, because I love to have adventures with Mommy.

Well, guess what the adventure was? Going to the dog wash. Rats.

We didn't go to Roxanne's fun dog wash, like we did last summer. Daddy gave Mommy a gift certificate to the wash your own dog dog wash in our town so that's where we went. (And guess what it's called? Bandit's Bathhouse! )

Anyway, this is how you get a bath at the wash your own dog dog wash.

First, Mommy puts a noose around your neck and makes you get into the bathtub. Then she hooks the noose to the wall and BAM! You are a prisoner.

Then she turns on the water and tries to drown you with the shower.

Then she pours stinky soap all over you and rubs your fur all over your body to get out the dirt and poop and pine needles that you've been playing in for months and trying to collect.

Then she drowns you again.

Then you get covered in slimy stuff that is supposed to take out tangles. Mommy takes a pokey thing and tries to rip out all of your fur. She says she's trying to make you look pretty. Haha, that's not what it feels like, Mommy. It feels like you are trying to make me bald.

And then after you get drowned AGAIN, Mommy wraps you up in lots of towels. And you think that now you are going to have a nice snuggle session with Mommy, but oh no! Don't be fooled!

Now you have to get on a table that moves up and down and you get noosed again. The last thing that happens is that Mommy turns on a super powerful tornado machine to try and blow off any fur she didn't rip out with the brush.

That tornado machine is very, very scary. I did not like it one bit. I took my head out of the noose and jumped off the table.

Mommy said I didn't have to get dried so we went home wet. When I got home, Scout told me he let Mommy blow his fur off with the wind machine, just for a minute. He said he is not so cold right now. Maybe next time I will try it. Maybe not.

Anyway, my adventure today was that Mommy noosed me, drowned me and then tried to make me bald. I think next time I'll skip this adventure.

Love Bandit

PS: Now that me and Scout are almost dried, we are very fluffy. Mommy can't keep her hands off of our fur. She keeps snuggling us and petting us and hugging us and smelling us. I guess getting a bath is a good thing if it means Mommy wants to love us up more!

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Poor Scout the reading dog

I feel bad for my brother Scout. He had reading today at the elementary school. But something in the library scared Scout a couple of months ago and now he's afraid to go there sometimes.

Well, today a big loud voice came booming from the ceiling to tell announcements to the school. The voice was not God. And it scared Scout a lot.

Scout told me that he just wanted O.U.T. of there. So Mommy had to take him home. Poor Scout. Sometimes he can be a fraidy cat about loud noises.

If I could, I would go be a reading dog and go to school instead of Scout. I could sit still and listen to stories. I like to stare at people.

But I can't be a reading dog because I didn't take the reading dog test. Mommy says maybe someday I can but first I have to learn that my mouth is for singing songs and eating biscuits, not barking and biting fingers.

Love, Bandit

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Shuffling off to Buffalo

So guess what? I got to go on a big adventure today!

Me and Mommy and Daddy moved Cassie's stuff to her new apartment today. And Mommy thought I should stay home in my crate but Daddy thought I should come. Mommy said, OK, but it's going to be an adventure. Daddy said, Well, we don't have time for an adventure. And Mommy said, Well, if you bring Bandit, that's what you're getting.


First, I helped Daddy load stuff into the trailer last night. Then today I sat in the truck while they loaded up the rest of the stuff. Even if they didn't want to bring me, I wasn't getting out of the truck. hahahaha!


Then we went to Grandmas to get more stuff. Me and Dali were chained outside and we played a little bit. But then Dali got her chain wrapped around my legs and I was tied up like a stuffed turkey until Mommy heard me crying. So Mommy let me loose and I just ran around Grandma's house until it was time to go.

Then I helped Daddy drive his truck to Buffalo. I'm a good navigator!


When we got to Buffalo, Mommy and Daddy chained me on Cassie's porch while they unloaded stuff. There is a lot of room for a dog to lie around on Cassie's porch. Unless your Daddy is trying to move a bed and he gets your chain stuck and then squishes your head against a pole and then yells at you for making him trip. So as long as you're not moving beds, there is a lot of room for a dog.

While I was outside, I met Cassie's neighbor, Joe, and I talked to a dog that went by. Dali will have a lot of new dog neighbors!

Mommy and Daddy talked to Travis, the man who is in charge of Cassie's apartment, and I jumped on him while he and Mommy and Daddy talked about stuff that still needs to be done. Like the rug in Cassie's bedroom still had to be cleaned and they couldn't put her bed stuff in that room. So I hung out in Cassie's new bedroom and chewed on my Kong toys while Mommy and Daddy put together furniture and stuff.


Then we all piled into the truck and went home. On the way, Mommy stopped to go potty in the potty building and when she came out she had french fries and chicken strips! They had a restaurant in the potty building! So we had a snack on the way home.

It was a tiring day. After my snack, I took a long nap.


I think Cassie and Dali are going to be very happy in their new apartment. I hope Grandma doesn't get too lonely without Dali. Me and Scout already decided we are going to go over and shed on her furniture sometimes so she doesn't get lonely.

And that's how I had a big adventure today that I didn't expect to have!

Love, Bandit

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Mama's boy Bandit

Daddy said last night that I am a Mama's boy. I'm not sure what that means, but he said it like it's a bad thing.

Here is what happened.

Mommy went upstairs to go to bed and I went with her and got in bed with her. Just like I do every night.

Before he came to bed, Daddy took Scout out to potty and then he called me to go potty. Just like he does every night.

Except that I was already in bed with Mommy and I don't go anywhere without her. So I didn't even move when Daddy called me. Remember, I am Bandit the Statue Dog as soon as I get on Mommy's bed. I don't even make room for Daddy. He has to fit around me.

The only way that Daddy can get me to leave Mommy is if he calls, Biscuit! Then I'll go come running. And when I have gone potty and gotten my biscuit, I run right back up to Mommy and claim her before anyone else can.

That's when he called me a Mama's boy.

What's so wrong with that?

Love, Bandit

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Jerky Daddy

Me and Scout and Mommy tasted some deer jerky that Daddy made this week, and it was the best best best jerky he has ever made in his whole entire life. Thanks for making such good jerky, Daddy! We ate a bunch of it!

Our Daddy is the best. He makes the best hamburgers and the best deer jerky and the best chicken coops.

Then there's Mommy.

Sharing jerky was a good thing that Mommy did for us today.

The bad thing she did for us today was that she went to Buffalo with Cassie and left us alone for eleventeen thousand hours. Scout got to sleep in the recliner but I had to stay in my stupid crate.

Mean Mommy. Stupid crate.

Wait till she finds out that I ate a big giant hole in her blanket when she wasn't watching me.

Love Bandit

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