Saturday, July 7, 2012

This week at Bandit's house (with lots of pictures)

Me and my new water dogger and pool

So this is what happened this week at my house.

This was Happy Birthday to You America week. It was a loud birthday party. There were lots of scary kabooms. I was scared and Bailey was barky. It was not much fun. I hope America had a happy party but maybe next year it could be a quieter party.

Mr. Squirrel is alive but he is not happy.
This week was dead animal week at our house. Bailey trapped a squirrel in the driveway. Mommy got all fraidy because the squirrel was boo booed pretty bad. There was no blood. Just inside boo boos that made him not be able to run away. Mr. Squirrel was squeaking and screeching and Bailey was pawing at him and playing with him. It was not funny because Mommy didn't want Bailey to eat the squirrel and she didn't want the squirrel to bite Bailey.

(Just so you know, Mommy doesn't think Bailey ouched Mr. Squirrel. She thinks Mr. Squirrel was ouched in our yard and Bailey was trying to figure out what do to with him. Because Bailey was not being a wild squirrel killing dog. She was being a "Hey look what I found! Can I keep him?" dog.)

Mommy had to get Bailey in the house and call Dr. Hawkins to make sure Bailey was up to date on her rabid dog shots. Then she made Mr. Dave the Inspector Animal Controller come and take Mr. Squirrel away because it was right at the side door and we couldn't get out without stepping over his dead self.

Mommy thought Mr. Squirrel was not alive any more.

But guess what? Mr. Squirrel was not dead so Mr. Dave had to make it so Mr. Squirrel was dead so he could go into the black dead animal catcher bag. I don't know what happened but Mommy was in the driveway saying, "Eeew!! Blech!" and shaking her whole self all over and saying, "Thank you, Mr. Dave. I am never going to complain about how high our taxes are again."

Mr. Dave came and said, "Mr. Squirrel is not dead."
And that's all you need to know about what happened next.

After Mr. Dave left with the dead squirrel, Mommy found a dead bird in the front yard. It was wormy and had ants all over it. It was pretty gross. Mommy is fine picking up dead birds. She is not so fine picking up half alive squirrels.

We have good times with critters at our house. Remember when I was a puppy and I got into a fight with a squirrel and got a big scratch on my nose and had to get a shot? Oh, and remember when I was out for a walk with Mommy and put my nose into a hedge and got my eyeball scratched by a nasty, mean old cat? And remember when Mr. Possum came to visit? And the hedgehog was hiding under the car? And the bats and the chipmunks came to visit?

Critters are pretty exciting.

Our new water doggers!!

But want to know what was even more exciting? Mommy went shopping yesterday and bought new water doggers!! YAY!! Me and Bailey both got a new sprinkler and our own pools because Bailey wrecked the other pool and we got another hose so we can can be on different sides of the fence and play and not fight. Then we switch sides.

Bailey likes to play in the mud. Mommy thinks she is part piggy.

We played lots of water dog yesterday because it was forty million degrees outside. Bailey drank about eleventeen gallons of water and peed all day. Then later she a half hour of Wild Manic Dog.

Wild Maniac Dog means you BARKBARKBARK and run around the house and take all of the rugs and put them in a pile and take all of cushions off the couch and throw them on the floor and bark in Mommy's face. Then you go outside poop and you feel better and take a nap.

This is the Fountain of Eternal Life. It is not a dog swimming pool.

Hey, guess what? They have the water turned on in the fountains at the cemetery! It's like a giant Water Dog Play Park! Just in case you didn't know, the Fountain of Eternal Life is not a dog swimming pool. But it should be.

Bailey takes a swim in the fountain.
Bailey went for a walk with Mommy yesterday and took a swim in the Fountain of Eternal Life. Do you think that means she will be a vampire squirrel hunter now?

HAHAHA! Try and catch me, Mommy!

I went with Mommy to the cemetery today. She let me see the fountain and guess what? I jumped in, too! Then I got my leash wrapped on a fountain so Mommy let go so she could untangle me. Then when she tried to get me out I swam away!! HAHAHA! So Mommy went to the other side of the pool to get me and guess what? I swam back to the other side! HAHAHAHA!! Then I laid down in the middle of the fountains and told Mommy to come and get me.

She couldn't reach me or my leash so I just laid there and laughed at her until she started to take off her sneakers to come in and get me. It was great. But I decided to get out because I didn't want the grave digger guys to see Mommy in the fountain and tell us that we can't come back to the cemetery to romp any more. Plus, it was getting very thundery and I wanted to go home.

I was  pretty proud of myself. I got a long walk and a nice swim
and now it is time to go home and take a nap!

Bailey went back for a walk but it was rainy and thundery and lightningy right when they get out to walk and Mommy made her come home. So she didn't get a walk today. Then as soon as they got home, it stopped raining so me and Bailey just barked for a while.

I think that dogs should be allowed to swim in the fountain. The cemetery is also something called a wildlife preserve, which means there are deer and critters and even a GIANT bird that lives there. I'll bet the deer swim in the fountain when no one is looking.

Mommy has been trying to grow food this summer. We have some vegetables and strawberries growing. Yay for Mommy! She didn't kill everything!!

This is how you grow stuff for your salad.

We grew dessert.
 Mommy bought a new gate to try and keep Bailey in her room. Bailey already figured out how to get out. Mommy says she is part hound dog, part piggy, part pit bull, part retriever and part Harry Houdini.

If you want to know how to escape from jail, just ask Bailey.

 Anyway, that is what happened this week at my house. It was a loud week and there was a lot of water. We did a lot of barking.

Bailey is waiting for Mr. Pug and his owner to walk by so she can bark at them.
  Now it is Sleepy Nap Time. I hope you had a good week and didn't have any dead animals in your yard.


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Mister said...

You had a very busy week! I figured out how to escape from jail, so now my mommy has a big clip to keep the door closed. My friend, Howie, figured out to get out of his jail, so his mommy has to paper clip his door! BOL!
We had a dead bird on my patio. Mommy did not like picking it up. I also got a yummy dessert--watermelon!
Mommy is a reading teacher and she talks about kids writing something called "persuasive letters." It's where you write a letter to someone and convince them to do what you want. Maybe you should write one to the cemetery to let dogs swim in the fountain. While I would not like to swim in the fountain, I would support your right to swim there!
I hope you have just as much fun this weekend! Do you have power? Mom wasn't sure how far the blackouts were. Is Bailey a forever sister now that you two will sometimes not fight?

Bandit!!! said...

Hi Mister!!! Your friend Howie should give us lessons on how to escape from jail. Then we can all meet and have some fun romps!

I don't know how to write a persuasive letter. I just bark. Mommy usually gives me what I want if I bark bark bark bark bark enough!

Me and Bailey had a fiht last week so we are back to being in our own parts of the house for a while. Bailey doesn't know how to play nice. She gets too excited and chases everyone and barks in my face and jumps on my back. She is a giant pain in the tail. But I think I am stuck with her because who wants a stupid, stinky girl dog who fights and bites and barks all day long? Boo. I miss Scout. At least I could boss him around.

Love BANDIT!!!!!!!!!