Monday, January 18, 2010

Why Mommy should not leave me in my stupid dog crate

Stupid Mommy and stupid Daddy went to a stupid party yesterday and I had to stay in my stupid crate while stupid Scout slept on the stupid couch for FIVE STUPID HOURS.

That was NOT fair. (Although I was so happy when she got home that I think I hurt both our heads because I was jumping around so much.)

I forgave her but I don't want her to leave me like that again, so today, I am making life miserable for Mommy. She has a big story to write and so me and Scout just keep going outside and coming in every 5 minutes and barking all the time and generally bothering her just when she starts to get something done.

She took us for a walk this morning - or what I call the Sniff, Pull and Synchronized Pee.

Here's how it works: First, we start walking really fast and then stop all of the sudden to sniff something. Then we take off again and if Mommy isn't careful she gets pulled along. Me and Scout are pretending we're sled dogs. Then, when we stop to pee on a tree, me and Scout try to pee on the exact same spot - at the exact same time! One of us usually gets wet and it makes Mommy frustrated.

Hahaha, Mommy! Then Scout pooped and she had to carry it home in one of those dog poop take out bags. Hahaha again!

Anyway, when we got home, I kept taking papers off her desk and running around the house with them. So far today I have also chewed a hole in my new dog bed - a nice, big hole - and I was wrestling with the cat so much that Murphy and I got our heads stuck together because we were biting each other so hard. Mommy had to pry us apart. (Murphy is a good fighter.)

And ding! ding! ding! Now it's 2:30! Nap time.

I know this makes Mommy mad because she got up at 7:45 - in the morning! - and has not been able to get any work done all day. And right now, she also has a headache and is very tired.

Normally, we all take a nap around this time when it's a yucky rainy day like today is. But Mommy can't because she has so much work to do.

That'll teach her to leave me in a stupid crate all day.

Love, Bandit

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