That Mommy is a super trickster.
This morning, she took Scout with her to the credit union to see the ladies. They were gone a long time, and when they got back, Scout's fur was wet.
Before I could ask him where else he went Mommy yelled, Come on Bandit! Let's go on an adventure!
So I jumped in the car, because I love to have adventures with Mommy.
Well, guess what the adventure was? Going to the dog wash. Rats.
We didn't go to Roxanne's fun dog wash, like we did last summer. Daddy gave Mommy a gift certificate to the wash your own dog dog wash in our town so that's where we went. (And guess what it's called? Bandit's Bathhouse! )
Anyway, this is how you get a bath at the wash your own dog dog wash.
First, Mommy puts a noose around your neck and makes you get into the bathtub. Then she hooks the noose to the wall and BAM! You are a prisoner.
Then she turns on the water and tries to drown you with the shower.
Then she pours stinky soap all over you and rubs your fur all over your body to get out the dirt and poop and pine needles that you've been playing in for months and trying to collect.
Then she drowns you again.
Then you get covered in slimy stuff that is supposed to take out tangles. Mommy takes a pokey thing and tries to rip out all of your fur. She says she's trying to make you look pretty. Haha, that's not what it feels like, Mommy. It feels like you are trying to make me bald.
And then after you get drowned AGAIN, Mommy wraps you up in lots of towels. And you think that now you are going to have a nice snuggle session with Mommy, but oh no! Don't be fooled!
Now you have to get on a table that moves up and down and you get noosed again. The last thing that happens is that Mommy turns on a super powerful tornado machine to try and blow off any fur she didn't rip out with the brush.
That tornado machine is very, very scary. I did not like it one bit. I took my head out of the noose and jumped off the table.
Mommy said I didn't have to get dried so we went home wet. When I got home, Scout told me he let Mommy blow his fur off with the wind machine, just for a minute. He said he is not so cold right now. Maybe next time I will try it. Maybe not.
Anyway, my adventure today was that Mommy noosed me, drowned me and then tried to make me bald. I think next time I'll skip this adventure.
PS: Now that me and Scout are almost dried, we are very fluffy. Mommy can't keep her hands off of our fur. She keeps snuggling us and petting us and hugging us and smelling us. I guess getting a bath is a good thing if it means Mommy wants to love us up more!
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