Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Scout and Bandit's Guide to Life: Don't be a poopy mouth

Hi everyone! Scout here!

Bandit wanted to do another update but Mommy won't let him near the computer. Here's why:

Last night we all went for a walk in the dark. Well, it wasn't dark when we left but it was dark when we were almost home

On the way, me and Bandit were playing in the leaf piles. There is a lot of stinky stuff in there to sniff. Well, on our street, Joe had a reeeally stinky, ginourmous pile of leaves. Bandit jumped right in up over his head and Mommy couldn't pull him out.

I was a good boy and came right to Mommy when she said to. Just so you know.

When she finally was able to get Bandit out of the leaf pile, we could see he was eating something. She thought it was a chicken bone or some Halloween candy or something and she didn't want him to choke. So Mommy did what she always does - she pried Bandit's mouth open and reached in to get what he was eating.

But nope, it wasn't a chicken bone or candy. It was POOP! A really big, gross, disgusting pile of poop and leaves!

Only Mommy didn't see that right away because it was so dark. By the time she figured it out, she had her fingers almost down Bandit's throat, and she and Bandit, and the flashlight and the leashes and the house keys and her coat, were all covered in poop. Exceptionally smelly, gross poop.

She got us home and did her best to clean everything off, but she wouldn't go near Bandit all night. She said he had poop breath and no matter how many "I'm so cute!" looks he gave her she was definitely not going to kiss his poop face. Bandit didn't even get to sleep in the big bed with Mommy last night. She made him sleep in his crate!

I got Mommy all to myself! Eat more poop, Bandit!

So I guess the moral of the story is that if you want to be a poopy mouth, that's fine. But no matter how cute you are, you'll be a lonely poopy mouth.

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