Thursday, June 30, 2011

Bandit is badder than bad and Bailey & Scout join him

There will be no pictures from our adventure today. Here is why.

Mommy said that us dogs needed a fun adventure together. So she said, Hey pups! Lets go to the park and romp in the creek!

So she loaded us dogs into the dogmobile in the driveway. Then she said, You know, I should have all three leashes on you dumb dogs so that when we get to the park no one runs away.

So she opened the door to put on our leashes. And we all jumped out of the dogmobile.

Scout got back inside pretty quick. Bailey stayed in the yard but she barked and barked. I said, See ya later, alligators! And I ran away.

Bailey followed me. Mommy said, Dammit Bandit! (That's my name, Mommy, don't wear it out.) Then she started the dogmobile and drove it out of the driveway. Bailey saw and came running and said, Mommy! Mommy! Let me in!

So Mommy scooped her up and locked her in. Then she parked the dogmobile, got a leash, and started walking to find me.

I cannot tell you where Mommy found me. All I can say is that I was not supposed to be there and I couldn't get out by myself.
You would think that Mommy would have just taken us home. But nope, she was still feeling adventurous. So we went to the park she took Scout a few weeks ago. She put Scout on a giant long leash and hooked him on a tree and told him to wait for her. She put me on a long, long leash that I can't chew and hooked me to a tree where I could get into the water. She hooked Bailey to a long leash and hooked her to a different tree so she could go into the water. Then she went back to the dogmobile to get the bottle of bubble fluid.

Scout decided he was bored so he unhooked his leash and went to visit some fishing guys. While Mommy went to chase him, I broke my collar and ran far away. While Mommy was trying to get both of us, Bailey got her leash caught on a rock and got stuck in the water. She was barking the entire time.

The fishing guys caught Scout and Mommy went and got him into the car. Then she unstuck Bailey and put her in the car.

But I am much faster and I had no collar or leash and it is a big park and there are a lot of smells to smell and I was not ready to go home. So I just ran around and had a great time while Mommy followed me.

Except I made one mistake. I really had to make a big pee. So when I stopped to do that, Mommy snuck up and got me. I got put into the dogmobile with Bailey and Scout.

Then Mommy went and found her shoes and her car keys and the bottle of bubbles and she got in the dogmobile and took us home.

For punishment, we all got bathed in the yard from the stinky creek water.

But it's not all bad! Mommy left us while she went to get dog food and when she came home she gave us new squeaky tennis balls!

So it was a pretty adventurous day even though we don't have any pictures to prove it. Except I don't think Mommy will be taking us to the park for a while.

Love
BANDIT!!!

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mommy takes Bandit and Scout for an adventure

"Mommy, just let us have a cheeseburger!"

Mommy decided that today was my adventure day, so we decided to go to visit Mike at his used bookstore in Spencerport. We left Bailey and Scout at home.

But when we got to the end of our street, Mommy decided that maybe Bailey should be in her crate since we might be gone for a while. So we turned around and went home. But when Mommy put Bailey in her crate, Scout snuck out of the house.

Mommy said, Oh who cares. Come on Scout and Bandit, let's go to the bookstore.

Hahaha! We went with Mommy and Bailey stayed home in her jail! Mommy said it's good for Bailey to learn to be home without us, and it was good for us three to have an adventure for old time's sake.

Just in case you didn't know, it is a long, long ride to Mike's used bookstore in Spencerport. Like eleventyfour hundred minutes. We got out of the car and some people pet and ooohed and aaaahed over us. But Mommy said maybe it was a bad idea for us to go into the store.

That's because Mike's used bookstore has fiftyleven million books in stacks all over the place, and he said we could only come in if we didn't knock something over.

Me and Scout had to wait in the car. Boring.

When Mommy was done she decided that we did not get the adventure she promised. So guess what we did? We went to see Daddy at Schallers!

Daddy makes the best cheeseburgers in the whole world.
 Yay! Me and Scout shared a cheeseburger and Mommy had some sweet potato fries and lots of people came out and said, Oh you are pretty dogs.

When we got home, Bailey was being a wild maniac because she didn't get to go with us. And she peed all over her crate. (See, Mommy. I told you it wasn't me!) So Mommy let Bailey loose, and she ran outside with me and Scout and us three dogs barked like crazy at the man next door mowing his lawn.

When Mommy said IN! IN! we know she meant Go into the house! But we are stinker dogs, so we said, OK, Mommy! We'll go in .. IN THE POOL!

So we got stinky wet and we had a barkfest and a cheeseburger and a long boring ride. It was a pretty good adventure.

Love
BANDIT

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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Scout teaches us a new tricky trick

Guess what? Us pups were outside and we heard a cat in the front yard and we all ran to the gate to bark at it - and Scout leaped over the fence like Super Dog!! Zooom! Right over like he was flying! Then he realized what he did and came back to have Mommy let him him. Ooops, sorry Mommy!

Mommy didn't yell at him. She was too surprised that he could fly like that. Scout was surprised, too!

Mommy says it's good that Scout is feeling good enough to jump like that. But now me and Bailey know how to jump over the fence. Hahahaha! Scout is the best big brother in the world! He teaches us great stuff!

Love
BANDIT

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Monday, June 20, 2011

A sample from Bandit's book: Your name is not "No"

Mommy and I are working on my book and I thought you might like to read what I wrote today. Mommy hasn't done her part yet. The book will have a little part that says "Mommy Speaks" and she will write something for people in there. Mommy needs to catch up.

But here is what I wrote so far on my first chapter. It is called a ruff draft. That means that it will get changed around a lot. I hope you like it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter One: Your Name Is Not "No"
by Bandit

Now that you are a puppy with a people family, you are probably going to get a new name. Hopefully, you will get a good name, like Scout or Bandit or Bailey. Or even something classic like Rover or Fido.

If your new family lets their pet children pick out your name, you could be in trouble. Some dogs have gotten stuck with names like Sparkly Golden Keychain or Lola Grocery or Tree Tree. Those are definitely not good dog names. How can you defend your home if your name is Sparkly Golden Keychain? A burglar will just laugh at you while he stuffs your TV into a pillow case.

Actually, it doesn’t really matter what your official name is. Your people are going to call you lots of different names, and you are going to be expected to answer to them all.

My regular name is Bandit. But I have other names, too. Sometimes Mommy calls me Senor Fluffybutt. That is because I am a boy dog and I have a very fluffy butt. She also calls me Puppy 2. Scout is Puppy 1, and Bailey is Puppy 3. When we are coming into the house, sometimes she will have us count off as we come in. Puppy 1! Puppy 2! Puppy 3! Usually, it is just Puppy 1 and Puppy 3, because I am bad and don’t come in the house when Mommy calls. But that’s a different chapter. I also answer to Dammit Bandit.

Bailey is also Baileyrina, HereBales, and NO KITTY! Scout is pretty much just Scout. Mostly because he pays attention to Mommy all the time. But we all know our real names: Bandit, Bailey and Scout.

If your people are smart people, they will teach you your regular name first. They will call your name and whenever you look in their direction, they will give you a treat. A nice treat. Like some hot dog. Pretty soon you will know which name you are supposed to pay attention to.

This is important, especially if you live with other pets, like dogs or cats or children. If your Mommy says, “Susie, get in the car” and you come running, you will be very disappointed when you get to the front door and find out that your name is not Susie and you are not getting in the car.

But if your Mommy says, “Bandit, come!” and you know that Bandit is your name, you will also know that you should stop whatever you are doing and run to your Mommy, because she called your name and probably has a big surprise waiting for you.

I don’t know why people use so many names. Us dogs just use smells. Our front ends tell our first name, and our butts tell our last name. We just sniff each other all over and we know all we need to know about each other. I will tell you all about dog smells in another chapter.

When you are a puppy, you are mostly going to hear the name No. No Rover! No kitty Rover! No shoes Rover! NOOOOOO ROVER!!!

Just so you know, No is not your name. That is your Mommy’s way of telling you to stop what you are doing right now. That is one example of how people do not speak Dog. They use a lot of words that don’t really mean what they want to say, and you are going to have to learn to speak People because most people do not learn to speak Dog.

I will warn you that learning how to speak People is not going to be easy.


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Bandit is writing a book

I like to read books, too. Sometimes I eat them if they are really good.
This is Cassie's book by Phil O-Sophy. He didn't write anything tasty.

Hi paw pals! Guess what? I am writing a book! Well, Mommy is helping me with the big words.

It is going to be a book for puppies about how to understand our people. Because people are very confusing. They use words we don't understand and they get mad at us for doing stuff puppies do.

Do you want to help me? I would like to know what the most confusing thing is that your people do or say. Then I will translate for you.

I am excited to write a book. Mommy says we need to get our tails in gear because she did not like going to work at an office and she does not want to have to try that again to pay the bills.

Love
Bandit

Visit Mommy's NEW dog blog, Bark Around Town, the blog about the Rochester dog community. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter!

Bailey joins the Mystery Barf competition!


Bailey, the Mystery Barf champ of the year, so far. She did not barf up this ball.
 Yay for Bailey! She is the Mystery Barf champion so far this year!

Last night, she barfed up some really good barf. Right in Mommy's bed! Right next to Mommy's face!

Mommy had just changed all of the sheets and blankies on her bed because we had gotten them really dirty and crunchy. Then when we went to bed, she moved Bailey from the bottom of the bed because she takes up all of Mommy's feet room. She put Bailey right next to her so they could snuggle.

Then we all went to deep sleep.

Hahaha! Bailey is a sneaky barfer. She doesn't give any warning. One second she is snoring with her head on Mommy pillow. And the next? Baaarrrrrffff. No coughing or anything. Just barf everywhere.

And I don't know what she ate. But PEEE-EEEEW! It might have been the broccoli she had at dinner. Or the venison jerky Daddy made. Or maybe it was all of that poop she ate yesterday. But it was the stinkiest barf I had ever smelled.

So Bailey got points for barfing, for barfing something we can't recognize, for barfing on Mommy's clean sheets, for barfing without any warning, and for almost barfing in Mommy's face.

She is going to be hard to beat for Mystery Barf champ.

Love
BANDIT

Visit Mommy's NEW dog blog, Bark Around Town, the blog about the Rochester dog community. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Today is Happy Your Father Day!

You can make your daddy happy by singing him a song while he waters the lawn

Today is Happy Your Father Day, the day when you are supposed to do things to make your daddy happy and say thank you for being the best daddy in the whole world.

You can do stuff like let your daddy sleep in late, or at least until someone knocks on the door and you to bark like wild animals.

You can let your daddy make you some nice venison jerky. That makes him very happy.

You can chew a nice hole in his garden hose so more water squirts out when he is washing his truck. That way he gets the job done faster!

That is just some stuff you can do. I'll let you know what else makes daddy happy later. Because he decided that the thing that would make him the happiest right now is to go visit his daddy and get away from us puppies for a while.

We have the best daddy in the whole world. Just in case you didn't know that.

Love
BANDIT!

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Sunday shopping spree (pictures)


This is me and my new squeaky tennis ball, and our new Kong tug toy.
 Mommy said today was my day to have an adventure, so we went to Country Max and bought some new toys. I got to pick out toys for me and Bailey and Scout.

I got a pack of squeaky tennis balls, which is my favorite toy. I picked out a Kong tug toy for Scout and another Kong Ballistic, too. And I got Bailey a new tail ball, since she wrecked the last one and it is her favorite toy.


Bailey loves this toy.
 
Scout loves this toy too!


On the way home, I took out all of the toys and played with the paper bag. Which in case you didn't know is a very good thing to play with. You can crinkle it and squish it and chew it.

When we got home, Mommy threw my three squeaky tennis balls into the back yard. Only two made it so we are already down one squeaky. Bailey almost chewed through the tail on her toy. Then she and Scout played tug, which was fun for about two minutes. Then Scout chewed up the Kong Ballistic.


This is the new Kong toy.  It is more fun if you share it with your brothers.
 
This is us playing yesterday. I just wanted you to see how handsome and pretty we are.
Especially when we are wet and stinky and dirty! HAHAHA!
So today was a great day. We spent some of Mommy's money, we played with some new toys, we wrecked some new toys, and then we played water dog.

Love
BANDIT

Visit Mommy's NEW dog blog, Bark Around Town, the blog about the Rochester dog community. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Bandit helps out at the animal shelter for The Fast & The Furriest (pictures)

The Fast and the Furriest happens in the park. It's lots of fun for dogs and their people.

Today was a very special day because Mommy took me to work with her. Not to her real work, but her favorite Saturday work at the animal shelter.

It was a special day at the shelter called The Fast & The Furriest. It was a time when dogs brought their people to the park to run and walk and play and raise money for the animal shelter.

Me and Mommy went and visited our pals at the Camp Bow Wow booth (boo, Lindsay wasn't there) and then we visited Sherri at the Tails of Success booth (we like to romp with her, too).

Then I went into the shelter and helped Mommy and Pam and Robin do their work. We helped some dogs find furever homes.

"OK, sir, you are all set! Let me have someone bring you your two new beagles!"
"When you finish filling out these papers you can take a break, Bandit."

Everyone said I was a good dog. I got lots of pets. I peed on a few things. I barked some songs. I did a lot of tricks. I ate a lot of biscuits. I made a new pal named Nikki who brought in her mommy and daddy Bobby and Wendy. Mommy was friends with Bobby about fortyleven million years ago. They are both very old.

Pam the boss let me take a break from my office work to enjoy a Frosty Paws snack that a man in the park gave me. It was tasty.

Frosty Paws are treats for dogs. Not for mommies.

So the Fast and the Furriest is a lot of fun for dogs and their people! And the animal shelter is a nice place to come and find your new furry friend. You should definitely visit there because it is boring for the dogs waiting for homes. And there are eleventy billion cats that needs families, too.

Love
BANDIT!

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It's Daddy's Day After Happy Birthday Day!

This is our Daddy. He made us yummy deer jerky.

Yesterday was Daddy's Happy Birthday Day. But he had to work all day so today we are going to celebrate!

First, me and Mommy are going to the animal shelter for a party called The Fast & The Furriest. She said I can come because I have been really naughty and I need some adventure to get rid of the naughties in my system.

Scout is staying home to puppy sit Bailey because she had an operation this week to take out some of her girl guts. She is on medicine that makes her very sleepy. Mommy says that Scout is calmer than me and he'll make sure she doesn't jump around like a wild maniac. 

Bailey has to take medicine that makes her very sleepy.
 Then when Daddy gets home from work today, we are going to have steaks for dinner and watch his favorite tv show and give him lots of snuggles. We might even play water dog with him and share a popsicle!

Daddy is the greatest Daddy that a puppy could ask for. And he makes the greatest venison dog treats. We ate two bags of them this week.

Yay for Daddy! Happy Birthday Daddy!

Love,
Bandit

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Friday, June 3, 2011

PS: I forgot to tell you another bad thing we did!

Hahaha, PS! I forgot to tell you another bad thing we did today. It was great.

When Mommy put us in the car to go get weighed and donut holed, we were VERY excited. We got in the dogmobile and were hopping all around so Mommy had to squeeze in her seat and shut her door. Then she saw some stuff that she needed to throw away so we wouldn't eat it while she drove. So she turned on the car so the cold air could come out, and she opened her door to get out and put the stuff in the garbage.

That's when Bailey jumped out of the dogmobile. Ha! Mommy had to quick get out of the car to get Bailey. Except Bailey was so excited she forgot  how to get back in. So Mommy shut the front door so she could open the back one and stuff Bailey in. Except guess what? When she closed the front door, we locked all the doors!

Hahahaha! Now Mommy and Bailey were outside the car and me and Scout were inside the nice cool car. With the keys.

Mommy had to go find the extra key that she hid in the yard, then she had to go inside the house to find the spare dogmobile keys, then she had to open the dogmobile, then she had to put the spare dogmobile keys back in the house, then she had to go hide the extra house key. Then she had to stuff Bailey back into the dogmobile before me or Scout could jump out to see what was taking so long.

This was almost as exciting as the last time me and Scout got locked in the car and the car fixer guy had to come and let us out. That was pretty exciting.

Love
Bandit

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Today is National Donut Day (and we get donuts even though we've been bad dogs!)

Today is National Donut Day. Yay!

Mommy took us pups in the car while she went to the credit union to put Daddy's paycheck and her first paycheck into the money machine. Then we went to Dr. Hawkins' office and weighed ourselves on the weigh your own dog scale. (I weigh fortyleven pounds, Scout weighs thirtytwelveteen pounds, and Bailey weighs eleventyseven pounds.)

And then ... ta da! Tim Hortons!! You should know that Mr. Tim Horton did not give out free donuts today, even though the other donut makers did. That's OK because Mr. Tim Horton always gives out free donut holes to puppies! Mommy bought extra donut holes for us and a donut for herself and some coffee, which she got to drink while it was hot, which doesn't always happen because sometimes when we get home we jump out of the dogmobile and go visit the neighbors and by the time she gets us back to our own yard her coffee is cold.

So today was a Happy Donut Day!!

Love
Bandit

PS: you should know that we got donuts even though we were bad this week. Even Murphy. When Mommy went to work at her new job, she left Bailey out of the crate because Daddy wanted to experiment. Daddy, six hours is too many hours for us to not get into trouble. We ate some hamburg rolls. We ate a whole box of Buddy Biscuits. And Bailey peed and pooped in the house. It was great!





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Bandit and the baby bird

Guess what? When we went outside to play water dog, we had a visitor. There was a baby bird in our pool!

Hey, Baby Bird! Hop out of the pool so Mommy can put in fresh water.
Then you can get back in and play with us!

Mommy said that we could not dump out the icky water and fill the pool with new water untiil we helped Baby Bird find his mommy.

Mommy thought maybe we should ignore Baby Bird for a few minutes to see if he could jump out of the pool on his own. So we played bubbles.

But Baby Bird didn't jump out of the pool.

Poor Baby Bird. He is very sad because he can't find his mommy.

So we played catch. While we did that, Baby Bird's mommy came to get him. Hurry up! she said. Get out of the pool before those hairy monsters eat you!

Baby Bird hopped around in the pool but he could not hop high enough to get out.

So I went over to talk to Baby Bird. He was crying. Whaa! I miss my mommy! I am scared of you hairy monsters!

It's OK, Baby Bird! I asked my Mommy to come and help!

I told him, Don't worry, Baby Bird. We won't eat you! I'll get my Mommy and she will come and help you out. And if you can't find your own mommy, we can share our Mommy with you.

So I got Mommy and she came over and scooped Baby Bird out of the pool. Baby Bird hopped onto the ground and peeped his way down the driveway and across the street and found his mommy.

Yay for Baby Bird!

Mommy put new water in our pool and then put on the automatic water dogger and said that we were all good puppies because we didn't eat Baby Bird.

It's a good thing Murphy isn't allowed outside. Just in case you didn't know, cats like to eat birds. (Actually big birds also like to eat little birds. Remember that giant hawk that sometimes comes to eat birds out of the bird feeders? Blech. Bird guts are gross.)

So I made a new friend today and helped him find his mommy. It's definitely a popsicle day.

Love
Bandit

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