Sunday, February 19, 2012

Bandit joins Dogs Against Romney!

You can visit Rusty at
I am not a politics kind of dog. I am a playing and romping and barking and blogging about fun stuff kind of dog. But Mommy told me a story this week about a man named Mitt Romney who is running for president of the United States.

Mitt Romney once had a dog named Seamus. And he took Seamus on a family vacation to Canada. Except there was no room in the car. So do you know what Mitt Romney did? He put Seamus in his dog crate and tied the crate to the top of the car and made Seamus ride up there!!

That is very scary. It is noisy and cold and windy on top of the car, especially if you are there for twelveteen hours. So you know that Seamus pooped in his crate because he was afraid. And when the poop rolled down on to the window, do you know what Mitt Romney did?

He took Seamus out of the crate. soaked him with the hose and soaked out his crate, and then stuffed Seamus back into the crate and kept driving!

This is Mitt Romney. I think he is waving
goodbye to Seamus. Boo on Mitt Romney.
He is one very, very not nice man. A nice man who loves his dog would not have made his dog ride on top of the car or drowned his dog with a hose and then stuffed him back into the crate in the wind to become a pupsicle.

When they got to Canada, Seamus ran away. Yay, Seamus! I hope he ran and ran until he found a nice Canadian family to take care of him.

When me and Mommy went to BlogPaws, I rode inside the dogmobile and helped her navigate. We listened to music and stopped at McDonalds and shared a Happy Meal and stayed overnight at Grandpa's house so I would not have to be stuck in a car for eleventymillion hours. Plus, we stopped so I could pee in New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland and Virginia. That is how you should travel with your dog.

Plus, when we got there, I got to sleep in my own bed in the hotel and eat in the dining room and lick stuff on the buffet table.

There is a dog named Rusty who has a website called I like Rusty. I don't like Mitt Romney. I do not want a president who would do that to a dog and then think it's funny all these years later. If he would do that to a dog, what would he do to his people?

I will not vote for Mitt Romney on election day. And you know that I know how to vote. Remember? I went with Mommy last time and helped her fill out the paper and feed the voting machine.

So I am a Dogs Against Romney dog now. So is Bailey. And if Scout were here, he'd be one, too. Boo on Mitt Romney. I wonder if my pal Bo Obama likes Mitt Romney. I bet he doesn't either. Although Bo didn't get a party on his one year anniversary at the White House. But I don't think his daddy the president would make him ride on top of the car.


Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

I went to the romping palace and it was fun!

Remember last time, when I went to Miss Sheri's romping palace and all the dogs tried to sniff me at the same time and I got cranky and snappy and had to leave the party?

Well, today I went back and guess what? I was a good boy and I had lots of fun!!

I would show you pictures but Mommy forgot her camera and her phone because she had to sneak out of the house while Bailey wasn't looking. At least she remembered to change out of her pajamas! So you will just have to take my word that it was some good dog times.

I went to the first medium sized dog romping party of the day and those dogs are a lot calmer than the medium sized dogs in the second romping party of the day.

I got there early and said hi to a dog named Susie and then a barking German Shepherd puppy and some other dogs. Then we all played and romped and sniffed all the other dogs as they got there. Susie's family included a boy named Hunter and he played ball with me. That was fun.

I like the first romping party on Saturday and I think I will go back for more. The sad part is that Michelle who works there is moving back to Alabama. Boo on that, Michelle. I will miss you! But Danielle is still there, which is good.

So if you want to have some fun romping with other dogs, you should go to Miss Sheri's romping palace for dogs. You can also go to school there but it is more fun to romp!

Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

Monday, February 13, 2012

It's Valentine's Day and someone you love might be trying to kill you.

Valentine's Day is when people tell you they love you by
squeezing you until your tongue pops out of your mouth.

 It is time for Valentines Day, the day when people go around telling other people how much they love them or they try to get people to fall in love with them. It's all hearts and hugs and kisses and love.

But it is all a big lie. Really, those people are trying to kill you.

First, a naked baby named Cupid flies around with a bow and arrow trying to shoot people in the heart. Where I live, babies are not allowed to fly around without their mommies (or their diapers), and they are definitely not allowed to play with bows and arrows. Plus, just in case you didn’t know, if you shoot someone through the heart with an arrow they will die. And they probably won’t love you for it, either.

People also give presents for Valentines Day, like chocolate and flowers and cards with hearts on them. They may taste nice and look pretty, but if you get chocolates and flowers, watch out! You should know that if a dog eats chocolate he will get emergency poop and if he eats flowers he will also get a really bad belly ache and get sick and barf. If he eats them both, he will definitely be going to the animal hospital.

I don’t know if chocolate gives people emergency poop but I would not take a chance. And I don’t know if people eat flowers, either. But I have met some people who are not very smart so I would not be surprised if they did.

Cards are not very dangerous, but they don't taste that good and the pieces of paper get stuck in your teeth. And if you eat the envelope, the pieces with the glue will get all stuck in your fur. Which might mean you have to get a b-a-t-h. A bath means you have to get into the tub and get your whole head drowned under the shower. So the card won't kill you but the bath might.

On Valentine's day, some boy people give their favorite girlfriend people a very special present called a rock. It is a shiny glass stone you wear on your finger and it costs about eleventy million cents. Girls like to get that present. I don’t think a rock is a very good present. Although I heard about a dog last month who ate 100 rocks, so he must have a lot of girlfriends.

Bailey eats poop. Go ahead and kiss her. Blech.
 There is also a lot of hugging and kissing on Valentine’s Day. Blech. First of all, most people who hug you are really people trying to strangle you. Why else would they wrap their arms around you and keep squeezing you while you are gakking with your tongue hanging out of your mouth? Second, you can get a lot of germs by kissing. Especially if you kiss my stupid sister Bailey, because she eats poop. That is some germy love.

I would tell you more about Valentine’s Day except I am still very sad about my brother, Scout. You know that about twoteen weeks ago he got out of his dog body and got into his angel body and went to live on God’s Farm in heaven. It was very sad. I am lonely without him and Mommy has big crying days whenever she goes into her office where he liked to sleep.

Scout is an angel now in heaven. Mommy is still crying.

If you want to know about love, you should learn more about God’s Farm. In heaven, all of the dogs and cats and rabbits and birds and every other animal who ever got sick and died lives there. They are all happy and no one is in pain and they get to romp and run around and have play time all day. And at night, all of the dogs get to climb up on Jesus’ bed to snuggle, and he doesn’t even care if their muddy paws get the sheets dirty!

That is love!

I am glad that God has a special place for animals and that he made Scout feel better from his cancer. I think Scout probably likes having angel wings. Maybe he can tell Cupid to stop being naughty and to just play bubbles with God’s puppies so we can have a safe Valentine’s Day.


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Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!