Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Me and Bailey end up in the back yard together and not on purpose

This is how me and Bailey are in the house.
That's because Bailey gets too wild and starts fights and I am the one who gets hurt.
We play the Puppy School Game when we are on our own sides of the gate, too.
So you know how me and Bailey do not like to be in the same place at the same time, because Bailey doesn't play fair and I don't like her sniffing me and we get into fights and Bailey wins because she is stronger than me and then I have to go to the doctors with boos boos? And you know how we have to be gated off from each other 32 hours a day? (Read my stuff from 2011 to learn about it.)

This week I was in the front yard with Mommy and Bailey was in the back yard. Mommy thought Daddy was outside with her. Bailey started making big barks at our pals in the back, so I made big barks too so they knew I was outside. It was a big barkfest. Mommy said we were doing her head in.

So Mommy brought me in the house through the front door, but guess what? Daddy was not outside. He had come into the house and he forgot to close the back door! So I just ran right in the front door and out the back door.

Right into the yard with barking Bailey. Mommy heard the screen door slam and ran through the house to get me but I was too fast.

You know what happens when Bailey gets wild and I don't like it. There is blood.

What happened when I peed on the pillow

I didn't do it. Whatever it is you're mad at.

So about oneteen days ago, I did a bad thing. It was a BIG Bad Thing. I peed on Mommy's pillow. On her bed.

Uh oh.

But guess what? Mommy didn't get mad. Instead she said, "Bandit, that is not like you to do a naughty thing like that. What is wrong?"

I just looked at her. What are you talking about Mommy? The Ghost Puppy did that.

The next day, Mommy called Dr. Hawkins and said, "Bandit is acting squirrelier than normal and last night he peed on my pillow. Can you make sure he is not sick?" She also tattled on me and told the doctor that I broke my leash and went to visit my pal Nico and I snarled at him when he sniffed my butt. Mommy can't keep any secrets.

So I had to go see Dr. Hawkins and she ran experiments on my potty and felt my whole body all over and then used big needles and sucked out some blood.

You should know that I have had my blood sucked out before, when I ate that cat toy and had to go to the hospital. (Remember? That is when I met Santa!) They did experiments on my blood and I got my superpower (talking to Mommy in my head).

Mostly I am pretty good when they want to suck out my blood and run experiments. But this time I did NOT like it when they poked me with needles. So I growled and snapped. But they kept poking. So I made a big stink bomb with my butt to tell everyone to GO AWAY AND STOP POKING ME. My butt bomb stunk up the whole vet office. But guess what? They stopped poking me! HAHA on them!

Dr. Hawkins said my pee might maybe have an infection and that is why I peed someplace I am not supposed to pee. So I had to take some medicine. And Dr. Hawkins said my back leg and hips were a little stiff and ouchy and that might be why I have been snappy and snarly.

Now I am all done with my medicine and I have to go pee in a dish next week and have my potty experimented on again. But I am feeling better! Back to romping and barking with my pals!

I am telling you this story because hopefully you have a mommy that doesn't get mad when you do something bad that you don't usually do and instead checks to find out what's wrong with you and never ever hits you but only loves you and takes care of you. Although Mommy says if pee on her pillow again I won't be allowed to sleep in the bed any more. Boo on that.

Love BANDIT!!!

Be my friend on Facebook And don't forget to visit Mommy's website!

Friday, June 20, 2014

Take Your Dog To Work Day - or not

"OK, Daddy, I'm ready for work at Schaller's Restaurant! What time is lunch?"

"You would like a hot dog with French fries? Yes sir, coming right up!"

Today was Take Your Dog To Work Day. Me and Bailey got ready to go to work with Daddy at Schaller's Restaurant. But he said there are "No Dogs Allowed" in the restaurant.

No, Daddy. You are wrong. You have hot dogs at your restaurant! HAHAHA!!

Love BANDIT!!!!!

Be my friend on Facebook And don't forget to visit Mommy's website!

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Winter has been no fun, but our book is done!

Me and Bailey, being good for a minute but being bored all winter.

 If you have been wondering where I have been, I have been taking care of Mommy and being bored.

Mommy has been sick for about fortyleventeen weeks, with coughs and fever and then no voice and then coughs and then can't breathe and then no voice and blah blah blah. We are all sick of Mommy being sick.

Just in case you didn't know, it is no fun in the winter if you are a dog and your mommy is sick. It is BORING.

Plus, it has been like the Arctic here. We should get a polar bear for a pet because a polar bear would like living here. Even when it gets nice out, it snows again. It was nice yesterday and we are getting a snow storm tonight.

This is what our street looked like all winter.
But here is the good news: our book is done! It got done a few months ago and Mommy did a couple of book signings. I was not allowed to go so I let her sign my name. Boo on that, though. I wanted to go play with my friends.

Yay!! Mommy's book was finally published!! I helped her unpack them.

Just in case you have been crying while you are waiting for Mommy's book, you can learn all about it on her website. It will make you laugh and some of it might make you cry. It is not all about dogs, but there is dog stuff in there. It is a bunch of columns she wrote and a couple of smart things I have to say about stuff, and some of the money goes to a charity that helps people take care of their pets.

And that is what has been going on at our house all winter. I am going to go outside and bark for a while and then take another nap.

Love BANDIT!!!!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Ghost Puppy Strikes Again

Just in case you didn't know, we have a ghost puppy who lives in our house. He does a lot of bad stuff, like chewing up papers and books and rugs, emptying Mommy's piggy banks and putting pennies all over the house, eating food off the counters, ripping all of Mommy's socks and other bad stuff.

He's a really bad puppy.

Yesterday, he chewed up Mommy's potholders. He's pretty fast but Mommy got a picture of his ghosty self. She says he looks a lot like me. I think she is crazy. He looks a lot like a panda bear, so maybe he is not a ghost puppy at all. Maybe he is a ghost panda bear.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.