Saturday, July 31, 2010

Bandit gets ready for his therapy dog test

Well, tomorrow is my big day. I am taking the therapy dog test.

When you take the therapy dog test it means you have to look spiffy, so Mommy yanked out some fur with the brush and I heard her tell Daddy that I have to get a bath before bed tonight so I am clean in the morning.

HA! You can give me a bath any time you want, Mommy. I can find dirt 24 hours a day.

But I will try to stay clean and be ready for my test. I have been practicing for six weeks so I think I'm ready. Scout already took the test and he passed, and he's a big dog with a job now. I'm ready to be a big dog, too.

I heard the teacher Kathy say there were going to be brownies for the dogs' people while they wait outside the ring for their turn to take the test. And we dogs are not allowed to eat that stuff at all, which will be difficult because if a brownie accidentally jumps into my mouth, I fail the test. So not only do the dogs have to behave, so do the baked goods.

I'll let you know how the test goes. It's going to be a surprise for us all.


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You can buy a monkey for eleventeen cents

So guess what? I found out today that you CAN buy a monkey for eleventeen cents!

The monkey only costs that much because it has "adult assembly required". That means he doesn't come with the bones and breath and brains and guts. You have to add that yourself.

But Grandma didn't care. She said she was going to puff up the monkey with just air and hang him in the tree in her front yard. So I don't think this monkey will be able to wash Grandma's dishes or mow her lawn or refill her wine glass. Not without bones and a brain and guts. If you only have air, you can only hang around looking funny. Which is something monkeys definitely know how to do.

The monkey also can only live at a house with people more than three years old. So he can't live with me because I am only one year plus seven months. But Grandma turned fortyleventeen years old today, so she's old enough to own a monkey with do it yourself breaths and guts

Mommy gave Grandma the monkey when they went to lunch at Schallers without me and Scout and Dali. Boo on that. We like to go to eat lunch with Daddy.

But I got to buy Grandma a monkey for her birthday after all. I'll bet that was the best part of her birthday. Even better than french fries.


PS This also means that I do not have to be good all day since I was able to buy Grandma a monkey present. So watch out! I've got a whole day to catch up on! HAHAHA!

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Happy Birthday to Grandma!!

Happy Birthday Grandma!!!!

This is Grandma. This is her "Will you stop trying to take my picture" face.
Grandma is the greatest grandma in the whole world and today is her birthday!

Today is Grandma's birthday so I have decided that I am going to be a good boy all day in her honor.

I was going to buy her a monkey for her birthday with the pennies I stole from Mommy's purse because I think Grandma would like a monkey to do stuff for her around the house, like wash her dishes and mow her lawn and refill her wine glass.

But I only collected eleventeen cents, and you cannot buy your grandma a monkey with only eleventeen cents. So I had to come up with another idea. I thought she would like it if I could be good for one whole day.

I've been awake for almost one hour, and so far I haven't done anything naughty. At least nothing Mommy has found yet. So I guess we'll take it one hour at a time.

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Bandit (and Scout and Murphy!!!)

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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Me and Scout go on a field trip to be bad in public

We're ready to go for a ride, Mommy!

Mommy decided today that me and Scout have spent too much time in the house alone this week so she took us with her when she ran errands to the credit union and then to the pet store.

We  love adventures!

We love to visit the credit union and they like it when we come to visit. A lady who was there to get some money told us we should stay at home. Mommy brought us so we could practice being good in public, but she kept me and Scout away from all of the people because she knows not everyone likes dogs. We did pretty good till the teller got out the biscuits and then ... me jumping on the counter! Scout wiggling and whining! Mommy said two dogs are too many to visit the credit union.

Then we went to the pet store because I needed to get my work collar and leash. They're blue. (Mommy is sure I'm going to pass my test on Sunday; I hope she doesn't have her hopes up too high.) Scout wanted to meet all the people and I wanted to eat all of the biscuits, so we were a handful.

And there are dogs at the pet store! One big one came in and barked right at me and Scout when we were at the check out. So of course I barked back. And me and Scout got all tangled in our leashes and Mommy was just not happy with us.

Plus, Mommy had taken a muscle relaxer before she left the house, so by that time she was kind of loopy and slow. Which is even better for me because I can be extra naughty before she can catch me!

Anyway, she made us new name tags for our collars at the dog tag making machine because we fight a lot and we broke our names tags. And then we went home and we all took a nice two hour nap and woke up when Daddy came home for dinner.

It was a pretty good day all around.


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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

We want this water dog slide!!

Dear Daddy,

When you put in the new fence, instead of grass can we have a water dog slide like this?

Love your puppies,
Bandit and Scout

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Nana invites us to be bad at her house!

Yesterday Mommy got a phone call from Daddy's mommy. Her name is Nana, and guess what? She said me and Scout can come over and play at her house!

Mommy said that we are sometimes bad dogs (mostly me) but Nana said that was OK. She said her dog Lily would have some fun with us.

Scout was at Nana's once before. He was there for his first Christmas. Uncle Artie's giant dog named Otis was there, too.

Scout and Otis at Nana and Grandpa Art's house, Christmas 2006

Scout and Otis romped around the house, and Scout ran away for a while in Nana's yard, and then Otis did a giant pee in Nana's kitchen and Scout barfed up a piece of tree bark and a big tree leaf. And then they both went to sleep.

Nana's house sounds like a lot of fun!


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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Super Electro Dog strikes again!

Mommy and Daddy had to move Cassie's stuff back from Buffalo this weekend. When they moved her to Buffalo back in January I got to go on the trip. You can read all about that fun adventure, too!

But I didn't get to go this time.

So when they came home to unload I got to supervise. Scout just watched, because he is not an experienced moving dog, like I am.

Then I got bored. There was a TV in the back of Daddy's truck, so I thought I would get in the truck and watch a movie while everyone else worked.

But all of the doors were closed on the truck. So do you know what I did?

I turned into Super Electro Dog and leaped into the truck!

The TV didn't work in the truck so I sniffed around for a while and then I got bored again so I stuck my head out of the Daddy side of the truck and barked. And Mommy and Daddy were very confused about how I was even in there. But before they could do anything, I jumped right out of the truck.

It's a pretty big jump. But Super Electro Dog can use his superpowers to do all sorts of special stuff.

Mommy and Daddy were so surprised that they came to check out the car. And that's when Daddy saw all of the paw marks Super Electro Dog made on the Mommy side truck door.

But he wasn't even mad. He thought it was pretty funny that I could figure out how to get into the car through the window. It's a good thing the window was open!

They both decided that I can't be left alone too long because I will get into too much trouble.

Anyway, Cassie will probably move again in a couple of months and then I'll get to go on that adventure again!

Super Electro Dog (it's really me, Bandit!)

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I visit Grandma and am a bad boy

On Friday, me and Mommy stopped over at Grandma's house on our way to therapy dog class so Mommy could get her shoes from Cassie because Mommy was going to a wedding the next day.

This is how the visit went.

First, I ran into the house and stuffed my mouth full of food from Dali's dish. Mommy pulled me away and while she picked up Dali's dish, I went and opened the new bag of dog food and started scarfing down that food. Grandma got up from her dinner at the table to get my head out of that bag, and while she was closing it, I ate the rest of the food in the old dog food bag. Dali followed behind me the whole time telling me what to eat next.

It took about four seconds to do all that.

We did not eat Grandma's dinner off the table. I thought about it but Grandma got to it before I could try. She was eating fish and french fries, and you know how much I love french fries.

Grandma said, Dammit Bandit, you cannot ever come to stay overnight at my house.

While she was saying that, I was in her living room. I lifted my leg on her table and Dali took a big pee on the floor.

Mommy put me and Dali outside on long leashes and Dali ran around and around me and got my legs all tangled up like she was at a rodeo. Mommy came out and saved me just when Dali was making her last pass to pull the leash tight and hang me in the tree.

I can't help it. Grandma has a bunch of good stuff to eat at her house and I don't get to see Dali too much. We have good times together.

Me and Scout have never slept over at Grandma's house, but Mommy and Daddy's old dog Natasha used to go to Grandma's all the time to sleep over. We heard all the stories about what a good dog Natasha was before she went to heaven to chase sheep on God's farm.

I'm sorry, Grandma. I'll try harder next time I come over not to be so bad. But you shouldn't get your hopes up.


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Friday, July 23, 2010

Cooper the dog is famous in the Nevada Humane Society dance video

Dear Cooper,

Look at you! You got a new mommy and you got to be in a video! You had a great day, didn't you? I think they should have let you dance some more. But you did a great job. Maybe you will become a famous dancer and get to star on Broadway. That would be a lot of fun.

I hope you and your new mommy are happy!

Your pal,

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

We met a Great Big Dane

We went for a walk after dinner tonight. Our friend Ikoda wasn't out, but Macy was!

Macy is the Australian Shepherd who lives around the corner from us. She used to be a little fluffy puppy and now she's a bigger fluffy dog!

She had a friend over to play. He was called Great Big Dane. He was about as big as one of Mr. Irwin's miniature horses.

Great Big Dane and Macy and me and Scout had some good sniffing hello time. And even though Macy's friend was pretty much a giant dog, he was a very nice dog.

We did not go walking in the cemetery today because Mommy was having an I'm tired day. Maybe we can do that tomorrow!


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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Guess what? Scout used to be a bad dog, too!

This is my brother Scout. He's a very good dog. But he used to be a bad dog, too!

I found a notebook that Mommy used to write in when Scout was a puppy. She wrote a lot of stuff in there about how much she loved Scout and how happy he made her.

And she also wrote all the bad stuff he did!

Hahahaha! Scout used to be a bad dog, too!

Here are some of the things that Scout ate or tore apart when he was a puppy:

oven mitts
lots of shoes, mostly Cassie's shoes
cat toys
computer paper, envelopes
newspapers and magazines
pine needles
tree bark
dryer sheets
a DVD and its case
a VHS cassette
Daddy's Cabela's cataloges
dog toys
walnut shells
shredded mylar gift basket filling
stuff from the garbage, like used tea bags, coffee grounds and celery
cardboard wrapping paper tubes
an answering machine
a computer cord
part of a bottle of wine
a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke that he shook up and then opened and sprayed all over the kitchen
a red apple Christmas ornament that he ate and then barfed up
plus, when he was locked in the kitchen once while Mommy was away, he chewed a big hole right in the wooden door!

Hey, he did all the same stuff I do! You know that me and Scout are actually related so I guess it just runs in our family. But it makes me feel better, because Scout is the good dog now and maybe someday I'll be a good dog, too!


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Mommy's back hurts again and it's her own fault

Dear Mommy,

Me and Scout are sorry that your back hurts this morning. But we think it is your own fault because you were bending over to give us baths in the backyard.

We were very happy being stinky and dirty. We didn't want baths.

But we love you and we'll take care of you today. You only have to take us to the cemetery for one walk and play water dog for only eleventeen hours today.

Bandit (& Scout!)

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Monday, July 19, 2010

Going for a walk in the cemetery

Today Mommy took me and Scout for a walk in the cemetery.

Just in case you didn't know, the cemetery is the place where people who died are sleeping until Jesus comes back to get them.

When you go for a walk in the cemetery, you have to be a quiet dog. You shouldn't bark because you are supposed to be respectful of the people who are sleeping and their families who are visiting them and talking to them, even though they can't hear anything.

But you can run around and sniff everything! There is a lot to sniff at the cemetery. There are other dog smells and people smells and way lots of flower smells. There are also giant rocks all over the cemetery and on each rock is the name of person who is sleeping underneath, so that when Jesus comes he can find everyone he is looking for super fast.

You are not supposed to go potty on the rocks with names. Mommy says that is disrespectful. But you can potty on all of the trees and signposts. And you can poop anywhere you want, but only if you have a responsible Mommy who will pick all of the poop up and put it in a garbage can.

We went to visit Mommy's friend John who is asleep in the cemetery under a rock. It took us a while to find him; we walked by him a bunch of times and didn't even see his rock. But I'm sure he didn't mind. He was probably glad to know some puppies were visiting!

Anyway, the cemetery is a great place to go for a walk.


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We're little worm factories

Me and Scout have not been feeling very well lately. We have had diarrhea poops for a few days and we both have upset stomachs so we are eating a lot of grass.

Mommy thought we might have worms, because our friend Sasha, who lives next door, has worms. And I ate some of her poop in her front yard while we were out for a walk.

So Dr. Hawkins has me and Scout on some worm medicine. Again. Mommy says I have to stop eating gross poop and stuff because I have worms all of the time.

I can't help it! I'm a dog. We're gross sometimes.


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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Vote for me for your favorite dog blogger!

Hey, everyone! Dog Time Media is having a contest to find the best pet blog. Maybe you could nominate me?

Just go to this link and fill in the information. Mommy says our blog name is It's A Dog's Life, our URL is and our nominee email is Whatever that means.

Mommy says even mystery barfers and ghost puppies can vote. Tell your friends!


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Sunday, July 11, 2010

We got a new pool!

Mommy and Daddy went out this morning and when they came home they had a present for me and Scout - a new pool!

First I scratched around to see if the old pool was underneath. Then I just looked at it and barked a little and chewed on the sides. Then I found the old pool by the garbage and got in it, but it didn't have any water.

So I decided to try the new pool. It's a big pool. I can lie down in the water and put my whole head underwater. It's great. Me and Scout can get in at the same time, too.

Mommy kept trying to take a video of me swimming underwater and Scout splashing around but we wouldn't do it while she had the camera. Us celebrity dogs need some time away from the puparazzi, you know.

Thanks for the new pool, Mommy and Daddy!

Bandit (and Scout)

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Saturday, July 10, 2010

The ghost puppy pees in Mommy's bedroom

Dear Mommy,

I did not potty in your bedroom today. The dog you saw doing that was the ghost puppy. He looks a lot like me.


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Friday, July 9, 2010

No new cats

This is our pack. Plus Mommy and Daddy and the chickens
and Cassie and Dali and Grandma.

Just so you know, Mommy worked at the shelter today and she did not bring home a cat.

She told me and Scout a secret: she was planning to bring home a cat, but when she got to the shelter it was gone. She was afraid they made it go into a long sleep because no one wanted her, whatever that means.

But Mommy looked through the paperwork and found out someone took it home
Yay! She was happy.

Daddy said no more animals. But Mommy could just bring it home and not say anything because we think it would take Daddy about a week to even notice a new cat.

Me and Scout and Murphy are trying to decide if we want a cat sister. We kinda like our pack like it is.


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Yesterday was a good day

Yesterday was a good day. A man came to our house to talk to Mommy about fixing the garage roof and putting up a big fence.

Me and Scout don't like the fence idea because we won't be able to see Sasha and Kona and Killian anymore. But Mommy said if the fence goes up then we can put in grass.

Just in case you didn't know, grass is the green, soft, squishy stuff we play on at the park and at Grandma's house. We don't have grass at our house. Just a lot of dirt.

Yay! Me and Scout want grass!

Then,the chicken doctor called and guess what? The chickens don't have their icky disease any more! So they don't need any more medicine and next week we can start eating their eggs again and Mrs. Wiggins and Coco should have their feathers grow in so they're not bald on their backs and butts any more.

Then Cassie came over. We like to see her. She didn't bring Dali htough. Boo. I guess she didn't want us to bruise up Dali's tail any more than it already is after the plant fell on it.

So it was a good day. We're getting grass and the chickens are better, but we didn't get to see Dali.

Today is Mommy's day at the shelter. Let's see if she brings home a cat!


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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Mr. W. Bruce Cameron wrote a super fantastic great book about dogs!

Yesterday was an exciting day for dogs because Mr. W. Bruce Cameron, the famous author, released his new book, "A Dog's Purpose: A Novel for Humans."

Mommy read the book and wrote about it for Fido Friendly. Then me and Scout read it so we could tell you all about it.

It is a very good book. It is about a dog who lives a bunch of different lives and he remembers stuff from each life and it helps him in his new life. And he learns a bunch of stuff, like how to be a search and rescue dog. Except in that life he's a girl. Which me and Scout thought was weird because we wouldn't want to be girl dogs.

But anyway the story is very funny. In one life, the dog Bailey digs up a dead cat and he wrecks stuff in the house and does a whole bunch of other dog stuff, but he explains it so the people reading the book can understand what we dogs are thinking. See, we're not trying to be bad.  It just looks that way to humans.

Me and Scout were wondering if we used to be dogs in other lives and we decided we weren't because we don't remember any other Mommy or Daddy. So this must be our first lives. We agreed that we would look for each other in our next lives because we are great brothers. And then we will track Mommy down wherever she is and do this life all over again.

So anyway, you should read W. Bruce Cameron's book "A Dog's Purpose" with your Mommy. Make sure you are ready to have your fur all wet when she cries all over you at the sad parts and she will pet you and squeeze you and tell you how much she loves at all of the parts. And you can invite your cat brother to snuggle and read, too. He'll like the book, too, since just in case you didn't know, cats live nine lives.


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Monday, July 5, 2010

Mommy and Daddy are selling the house and Dali has a tail emergency

So me and Scout heard Mommy and Daddy talking last night and they said they are going to sell our house. But we would not have to live in a tent because they would buy another house with lots of yard and space for Daddy to get a goat.

Me and Scout think it might be OK but we know how much Mommy loves this house. So they better find a house that's as fun as this one. But yay! We would have a big yard to run around in! But the house cannot be too far from Grandma or Cassie or Dali.

We didn't see Mommy much today because she was driving around looking at houses. And then Dali had an emergency and Mommy had to go get her at Grandma's and take her to the vet. Dali, not Grandma. Although Grandma was pretty shaky when Mommy got there and she thought maybe Grandma might need to see the doctor, too.

Anyway, Dali was sreaming REALLY LOUD every time she moved her behind and Mommy and Grandma couldn't figure out what happened. Well guess what. The doctor said Dali has a bruised tail.

Just in case you didn't know, a dog's tail is not just fur. There's stuff in there that can ouch pretty bad. And that's what happened to Dali. When Grandma and Dali were outside today, Dali got her leash caught on a chair and the chair knocked over a plant. Grandma thinks that the plant fell on Dali's behind and squished her tail hard.

Dali didn't have to get a butt cast or anything. She just got a shot in her tail and some good medicine for later and she's going to live, which is good. When Mommy got back to Grandma's with Dali, Grandma had has some wine and she was feeling better, too.

Me and Scout didn't get our dinner until 9:00 at night and we are now too pooped to go out and poop.


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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Birthday America and Welcome Home Uncle Eric!!!

Me and Scout and Murphy and the Joy Cluck Cluck and Mommy and Daddy want to say Happy Birthday, America!

Mommy and Daddy are going to a petting zoo this afternoon to see Mommy's friend Russ and his miniature ponies. Me and Scout think we Mommy should get a miniature pony and then bring home Aunt Jackie's talking bird Danger. Then we could start a circus and let Danger ride around on the pony and we could make some money and Daddy wouldn't have to work so hard making hamburgers all day.

After Mommy and Daddy get home we are going to hang around the house all day and play water dog and get really dirty and bark and bark and bark and make Daddy cook hamburgers on the grill on his day off.

Then when it gets dark everyone will shoot off big boomer explosions and Scout will hide under Mommy's desk and then we'll all go to bed.

And here's the greatest part of the day - Uncle Eric comes home from the Middle East today!! He flies ginormous airplanes that are like gas stations in the sky so he has a very important job. He was only gone for about 6 weeks but it probably felt like forty-leven million for Aunt Jackie.

So it's a great day all around.


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Friday, July 2, 2010

We had a fun week with our puppy friends

So this has been a good dog week for us! We went to the park a lot. And we also got to see some of our dog friends.

We finally got to meet Frankie and Izzy, the matching hot dogs who moved into the house on the corner a few months ago. And we got to see Ikoda again; he is a giant dog who always comes to visit us when we walk by his house. And Mommy even let Sasha sneak over the fence to come and romp around with us for a few minutes. We went by Macy's house a couple of times but she wasn't out splashing in her pool.

Now we hope Dali gets to come and visit while it's the Happy Fourth of July!

Mommy volunteered at the shelter for the second week and she did not bring home any kittens, so Daddy is very happy. But me and Scout and Murphy think if she keeps volunteering we'll have a kitty sister before long!

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