Saturday, February 27, 2010

I won another round of Mystery Barf today

We still have a lot of snow so Mommy played Incredible Snow Momster with us today.

I ate a lot of snowballs.

Then I barfed.

I barfed up water and dog food and biscuits and some kleenex and some other stuff I don't remember eating. I barfed in the house and then I barfed in the yard. I barfed a few times. But I did not barf up any snowballs.

And then I felt great! I ran around and jumped on Scout and chased Abby at the fence.

Mommy said since I was so barfy today I couldn't have my regular dinner. So I had rice and chicken.

So I win Mystery Barf again! I should barf more often.


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Friday, February 26, 2010

Happy Snow Friday!

Hi, snow puppies!

We woke up and found a gazillion million inches of snow in the yard! Yea!! We have been playing in the snow all morning. The schools are closed but Daddy had to go to work. Boo.

Then, Mommy made me and Scout scrambled eggs with cheese and stuffed it into our Kongs and we had a great breakfast.

Now, Mommy told us she would like us all to take a snuggly nap. Maybe we will, maybe we won't. But we are having a great Friday so far!!


PS: it's still snowing!! Look, Mommy took more snow puppy pictures. Can you find me in the first one?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Bandit and Lucy

Uncle Eric and Aunt Jackie came to visit a while ago and Uncle Eric took a bunch of pictures of the chickens. Mommy gave the chickens some Cheerios and because I was barking so much, she let me come in the chicken run and have some Cheerios, too!

So this picture is of me and Lucy having some Cheerios. Mommy held my collar just to be safe, but I did not eat any chickens.  Just Cheerios. Then I ran out of the run and went to go bark at my friends and wrestle with Scout.

Scout is afraid of the chickens so he didn't get to share any Cheerios with Lucy.


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We got locked inside the house!

Me and Scout got to practice our agility today. Someone broke the door today and we all got locked inside the house!

Mommy took us out one time through the front door, but then we had to go on the porch, climb over the Christmas tree that's still in front of the door, and then open the sticky fence to go into the back yard.

Mommy said a bad word, and then she just took the window off the screen door and we went in and out that way.

Mommy can't figure out why the screen door is stuck in the lock position. When Daddy gets home he is going to be very mad at Mommy for using the window like that but she said she doesn't care. Me and Scout go outside every 1/2 hour and she said she'd rather climb through the window than go through the front door hassle.

Scout is very good at jumping through stuff. I did it a few times. Mommy even gave me a step to get up on but I didn't want to do any more jumping. So she had to come out and toss me back into the house through the window.

But it was fun to play circus dog in the house!

Love Bandit

PS: Guess what? Daddy wasn't mad at us! He was so happy that we hadn't broken the glass on the door that he didn't get mad that the handle was broke. And he was very impressed with our agility jumping. See, Daddy, I'll bet you're glad we spent a gazillion dollars at puppy school!

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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I hate Wednesdays

I hate Wednesdays. Wednesdays are the day that Mommy and Scout go to school to read with Timmy. Then they stop at Tim Horton's for coffee and donuts.

I have to stay in my crate. It's not fair. I like to go out and visit. I like to go to Tim Horton's.

I wish we could skip Wednesdays.


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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Mommy needs to go to Mommy school

Mommy took me and Scout for a walk today and she said we need to go back to dog school to relearn how to walk on a leash.

Well, Mommy, we think you should take us for more walks and then we wouldn't forget how to walk on leashes. Actually, you should go to Eskimo Mommy school and learn more games to play in the snow!!


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Monday, February 22, 2010

Dali got shot! (Kind of)

Oh no!! Dali had to go to the doctor's today because she got shot! ... What, Mommy? ... She didn't get shot? ... She had to get a shot? ... You and Cassie took Dali to the vet so she could get her regular shots and have Dr. B look at her ears? ... Oh, good! I was worried about her!!

Never mind.


PS: This is my cousin Dali. Isn't she pretty?

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Baking with Mommy

Today I was an especially good boy. Mommy had to go to the grocery store to get some chocolate chips to make Daddy some cookies, and she did not put me in my crate.

She let me stay out with Scout!

We were very good dogs. We just waited for Mommy to come home and then we jumped all over her. I didn't eat anything or chew anything at all!

Aren't you proud of me?


PS: You should know that you are not supposed to eat the cookie dough before it is cooked. It will give you a tummy ache and your Mommy will get mad at you for licking the cookie sheets.

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Friday, February 19, 2010

Mommy, the circus and we're getting a zebra!

Sometimes Mommy says to us, If you dogs don't quit it I'm going to run away and join the circus so I can get some peace and quiet!

Well, guess what, Mommy? The circus might not be such a great place after all. Look, the animals are running away!

Maybe the zebra could come and live with us? This is a nice place to live. We would love him and feed him and play with him. He would be very happy here.


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Do you think I'm funny?

Sometimes I just like to sit with my tongue sticking out.

Mommy thinks I'm funny. I don't know why.


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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Can you hear me and Scout on the radio?

Mommy was taping a radio interview today and when she was almost done, me and Scout started barking at the mailman.

The man on the radio said to Mommy that he could hear us barking. And then he said, Gee, doesn't your dog have his own blog? Mommy said, Yup, Bandit has a blog.

Hey! I'm famous!


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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ooops, I was a bad dog!

Mommy let me and Scout outside while she was cutting up chicken and getting ready to make dinner. We barked when we were ready to come in.

I ran in first, and while Mommy let Scout in, I ate the chicken that was on the counter.

Mommy said, Bandit! You bad dog!

Gee, Mommy. I'm sorry. I thought you made me a snack!

Mommy was not happy with me. She had to find more chicken in the freezer and unfreeze it before she could cook dinner.

Just so you know, uncooked chicken does not taste as good as cooked chicken. But it tastes better than dog food.

Since I was already a bad dog, I went upstairs and ate a sock.


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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mommy's home! Mommy's home!!

Mommy's home! Mommy's home! Mommy's home!

You know that Mommy went to spend the night with Cassie and Dali and she left me and Scout and Murphy and Daddy all alone.

I was a good boy. I didn't steal anything or chew anything or even wrestle with Murphy or Scout or chase balls or really even bark at my friends in the back yard. I just laid at the door and waited for Mommy to come home. I waited through dinner and I waited while Daddy watched the Olympics.

When it was time to go to bed, Daddy and Scout went upstairs, but I stayed downstairs waiting for Mommy. I didn't want her to be lonely when she came home. Then Daddy reminded me that Mommy was sleeping over at Cassie's new house.

Oh! So Mommy would be home in the morning! So I went to bed, and me and Scout slept on top of Daddy like we usually sleep on Mommy.

But when I woke up, Mommy wasn't there. Daddy went to work and left me and Scout alone, and I was in my crate for a long time. Daddy came home at lunch and let us out. Still no Mommy.

It was almost dinner time when Mommy finally came home. I was so happy to see her I can't believe we didn't get hurt when she let me out of my crate.

Mommy said that she drove Dali to Buffalo and they had a nice car adventure. Then she and Cassie and Dali had lots of snuggle times. They met some new neighbors. Dali even slept with Mommy all night! Mommy said they had a lot of fun. I don't think it's fair that I was missing my Mommy and Dali was snuggling with her.

So I am glad Mommy is home. Daddy told Mommy that I am a better behaved boy when she isn't here. I didn't steal the pot holders or even breathe on his dinner plate. I just laid at the door.

I'm just sad when Mommy's not here. I miss her. I want Mommy in front of my eyes all the time. That's why I follow her around the house all day.

So Mommy had a nice adventure with Dali and Cassie, and me and Scout had a boring time with Daddy, and I am glad Mommy is home.


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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Mommy is leaving us!

Mommy said today that she is going to visit Cassie for the night and she is not bringing us puppies.

She said that me and Scout and Murphy are going to have a boy's night with Daddy, and that she is going to have a girl's night with Cassie and Dali in their new house.

Scout said that it will be fun to stay with just Daddy. But I don't know. I don't even like when Mommy goes to the bathroom without me.

When I was just a baby and Mommy fell in love with me and brought me home, she left me alone with Daddy for a few days while she went to work in a place called Nashvegas.

Daddy played an adventure game with me called Learn how to go down the stairs, Bandit! He pointed me with my head down the stairs and he held my tail so I didn't fall, and then he gave me a little shove. It was very scary. But now I can run up and down the stairs really good so I guess it was OK.

Daddy says while Mommy is away we are going to have an adventure. Mommy said, No adventures! Just make sure Bandit doesn't eat any slippers or clothes or cat toys. Daddy said, Ha ha, he won't eat anything on my watch!

Hahaha, Daddy! You just wait! Mommy isn't even gone yet and already Daddy dropped a jar out of the cupboard and me and Scout licked up a bunch of mayonnaise. Even the mayonnaise that got all over our fur.

So having a boy's night with Daddy might be fun. I hope he knows how to play kill the kickball. And Mommy made up a new game called Hansel and Gretel. I hope he knows that game, too.


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Saturday, February 13, 2010

A new tweeting puppy collar

Mommy's friend Chris sent her a note about a new toy that's coming out. It's called Puppy Tweets.

The news story says that you put a special collar on your puppy. Then when your puppy moves, his collar sends a signal to your computer and it posts a tweet from the puppy.

Well, not a real tweet. Mommy says that the tweet is just one the computer picks from a bunch that the computer has in its brain. So if the puppy is chewing your slippers the tweet might say, "Hi, I'm taking a nap!"

That's stupid. Why don't Mommies just let their puppies use the computer, like my Mommy does? Do people think puppies are stupid? OK, so some of us eat poop once in a while, which might not be a very smart thing to do.

But I can write my own tweets and blog stories. I can use a computer. I'm a smart puppy. Don't you want to read stuff that I write myself from my own brain?

I don't need a puppy tweeting collar. What I need is my own cell phone so I can call my grandma and my cousin Dali whenever I want.


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Dizzy Mommy

Mommy says today that she has verts in her go. I don't know what that means except that she feels dizzy.

She said she thinks her glasses did it because she has been working on her computer so much. So your go must be in your eyeballs. I don't know how the verts get in there.

I think Mommy just ate too many chocolate biscuits.

Love, Bandit

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Scout goes back to school

Scout here! I don't get to write much anymore because Bandit is a blog hog.

Today I went to the school office to see Mrs. McElwee (Mrs. Koch was sick; I hope you feel better, Mrs. Koch!). Then we went to both libraries and I kissed some kids who were reading. And then we said hi to Mrs. Koska in the high school.

Part of being a therapy dog is just giving people kisses and making them feel happy. I think the office ladies like it when I come to say hi. They pet me and tell me they love me and then I think they have a better day after I'm gone.

When we were done making people happy, me and Mommy went to Tim Hortons for coffee and donuts.

It was a great day.

Love Scout

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Bandit visits the credit union

Hey, everyone! Guess where I went today? To the credit union!

The credit union is a place where Mommies go to deposit Daddies paychecks. Our daddy works very hard making hamburgers and french fries all day so we can have dog food and toys, and so Mommy can stay home with us instead of putting us in crates and going to a stupid job where she can't wear her pajamas.

Remember last week, Scout went to the credit union and when he came home, he was all wet? Turns out that you do not get baths at the credit union. You should know that in case you were afraid that if you went there they would noose you and drown you and make you bald like Mommy did to us last week.

So here's how the credit union works.

Mommy goes in and writes a bunch of stuff on a piece of paper. Then she goes to see Tammy at the desk. Mommy gives Tammy the papers, and Tammy gives me a biscuit!

Isn't that great?

There are a lot of people at the credit union who like dogs. I got pet and loved a lot. It was nice. Except for one lady who kept calling me a girl. I'm a boy! Don't people know how to tell boy dogs from girl dogs?

On the way out, Mommy ran into her friend Dan and they talked and talked and talked. So the credit union is also a place to meet your friends and talk.

I can't wait to go back next week.


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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Playing kill the kickball

Hey snow bunnies! Did you get a lot of snow where you live? We didn't. So Mommy can't play Snow Momster with us. Send us snow!

Today we found a new game - kill the kickball. Here's how you play: Mommy kicks the basketballs to me and Scout and we kill them until they don't have any bounce left, and then we carry them around and kill them some more.

It's a great game. We killed two balls. We played so much today that me and Scout are pooped out.

What kind of games do you play with your Mommy?

Love Bandit

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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Chef Bandit

I'll bet you didn't know that I help Mommy cook!

My first job is to open the cabinet and lick all of the frying pans so that when Mommy is ready to cook, she has a nice, clean pan.

While Mommy is cooking, I sit by the stove and catch any food she drops, so she doesn't have to sweep the floor.

And then, while Mommy and Daddy eat, I start to clean the dishes in the sink.

I'm a big helper in the kitchen!

Love Bandit

PS - Today Mommy had a pan on the counter and I jumped up to lick it. It had something in there called garlics and onions and olive oils. It was tasty but it made my breath very stinky. If you want your Mommy to give you kisses on the lips, do not eat garlics and onions. Or poop.

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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Taking a nap with Mommy

So today is Sunday, and after Mommy and Daddy got home from church and had lunch, Mommy decided she needed a nap.

You know Mommy has been trying to get a nap for weeks because she is tired and her back hurts. Since Daddy was home she figured he would watch us (meaning me) so that she could sleep without worrying about what clothes were being shredded and what books were being chewed and what cat toys I was collecting in my belly or what else I was doing that might make me have to go back to the hospital.

Scout is a good dog so he decided to go hide somewhere and take a nap, too. But I decided that wherever Mommy went, I wanted to go.

Except that I was locked with Daddy in the living room. So I kept banging on the glass living room doors - and banging and banging and banging. And Daddy kept trying to get me to stop and stop and stop. But I know that if you bang enough the doors will open just a little and you can squeeze through. (You should know that in case Daddy ever locks you in the living room.)

To keep me quiet, Daddy took us outside for a while, and when we came in, I snuck by him and ran right upstairs and jumped on Mommy and woke her up with my cold nose and wet paws. She was sound asleep and she hardly woke up except to shove me off her head before Daddy came and got me and shoved me into my crate.

So Daddy sat all cozy in the recliner watching TV, Mommy was all cozy upstairs in the bed sleeping (with Murphy, which I didn't think was fair), and Scout was all cozy taking a nap in Mommy's office. And I was in my crate.

What kind of a Mommy and Daddy put their puppy in the crate even when everyone is home?

I actually didn't mind. I like my crate. So I got a rest, too.

When Mommy got up, I was very nice to her because I really missed her. Daddy said he didn't know what else to do with me so that Mommy could get a good nap, because all I did for an hour was bang on the doors to try and get to her.

Daddy said that I don't care about him, but that's not true. I care about him a lot. But me and Mommy are attached like Timmy and Lassie. If Mommy fell down a well, I would jump down there with her.

Plus, I really wanted some tea. When Mommy got up she made some and we shared a cup. (Well, I stole some when she turned her head, which is pretty much the same thing.)

So me and Mommy had a nice nap and tea. It was a pretty good Sunday, even if I did have to spend some of it in my crate while Mommy was upstairs without me.

Love, Bandit

PS: Don't you think that dogs should be allowed to go to church? I do.

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Saturday, February 6, 2010

I like Mommy's new book

So Mommy went to the grocery store today and then she went to the used bookstore to get some books to read.

Then she went to have lunch at Daddy's restaurant. (SCHALLERS! Go to Schallers in Brighton and have Daddy make you french fries. He makes the best french fries!! I know because in the summer, I got to go there and eat french fries.)

Anyway, Mommy took a book in with her to read while she ate, and when she came home the book was in her purse. So while she put the groceries away I ate her book.

I only ate the top part. I didn't eat the last page, like I did last time I ate her book and she didn't know how the story ended because the ending was in my belly. So I don't know why she's so mad.

It was a good book. It tasted like french fries!

Love Bandit

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Thursday, February 4, 2010

Bandit's bath adventure

That Mommy is a super trickster.

This morning, she took Scout with her to the credit union to see the ladies. They were gone a long time, and when they got back, Scout's fur was wet.

Before I could ask him where else he went Mommy yelled, Come on Bandit! Let's go on an adventure!

So I jumped in the car, because I love to have adventures with Mommy.

Well, guess what the adventure was? Going to the dog wash. Rats.

We didn't go to Roxanne's fun dog wash, like we did last summer. Daddy gave Mommy a gift certificate to the wash your own dog dog wash in our town so that's where we went. (And guess what it's called? Bandit's Bathhouse! )

Anyway, this is how you get a bath at the wash your own dog dog wash.

First, Mommy puts a noose around your neck and makes you get into the bathtub. Then she hooks the noose to the wall and BAM! You are a prisoner.

Then she turns on the water and tries to drown you with the shower.

Then she pours stinky soap all over you and rubs your fur all over your body to get out the dirt and poop and pine needles that you've been playing in for months and trying to collect.

Then she drowns you again.

Then you get covered in slimy stuff that is supposed to take out tangles. Mommy takes a pokey thing and tries to rip out all of your fur. She says she's trying to make you look pretty. Haha, that's not what it feels like, Mommy. It feels like you are trying to make me bald.

And then after you get drowned AGAIN, Mommy wraps you up in lots of towels. And you think that now you are going to have a nice snuggle session with Mommy, but oh no! Don't be fooled!

Now you have to get on a table that moves up and down and you get noosed again. The last thing that happens is that Mommy turns on a super powerful tornado machine to try and blow off any fur she didn't rip out with the brush.

That tornado machine is very, very scary. I did not like it one bit. I took my head out of the noose and jumped off the table.

Mommy said I didn't have to get dried so we went home wet. When I got home, Scout told me he let Mommy blow his fur off with the wind machine, just for a minute. He said he is not so cold right now. Maybe next time I will try it. Maybe not.

Anyway, my adventure today was that Mommy noosed me, drowned me and then tried to make me bald. I think next time I'll skip this adventure.

Love Bandit

PS: Now that me and Scout are almost dried, we are very fluffy. Mommy can't keep her hands off of our fur. She keeps snuggling us and petting us and hugging us and smelling us. I guess getting a bath is a good thing if it means Mommy wants to love us up more!

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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Poor Scout the reading dog

I feel bad for my brother Scout. He had reading today at the elementary school. But something in the library scared Scout a couple of months ago and now he's afraid to go there sometimes.

Well, today a big loud voice came booming from the ceiling to tell announcements to the school. The voice was not God. And it scared Scout a lot.

Scout told me that he just wanted O.U.T. of there. So Mommy had to take him home. Poor Scout. Sometimes he can be a fraidy cat about loud noises.

If I could, I would go be a reading dog and go to school instead of Scout. I could sit still and listen to stories. I like to stare at people.

But I can't be a reading dog because I didn't take the reading dog test. Mommy says maybe someday I can but first I have to learn that my mouth is for singing songs and eating biscuits, not barking and biting fingers.

Love, Bandit

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