Bandit in the chicken coop

Hey, guess what?

I found out today that I can almost fit a chicken's whole head in my mouth.

Love,
Bandit


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Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,

Yup, that was me that did potty on the kitchen floor. I started to pee and then remembered that I am not supposed to do that.

Oh well, life goes on.

Love,
Bandit


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The Grass Farm

Guess what? Mommy just called a place called the grass farm to see if they can sell us some grass!

There is a farm where they grow grass? That's silly! What do they feed to it to make it grow? Cows? hahahaha!!!!

Guess what else? It's cheaper than the seed the Grass Guy wants to plant, and even better, me and Scout don't have to stay off of it for 6 weeks!! We would have grass right away!

So Mommy and Daddy might go get some grass from the farm instead of planting grass seeds and waiting for them to grow.

I wonder how the farmer herds the grass up? Are there Border collies who run around a patch and say, "OK, stupid grass, get in the truck!"

Love
Bandit


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The Grass Guy comes to help us plant grass

So yesterday the Grass Guy came over to tell Mommy and Daddy how many gazillion dollars it is going to cost for him to come and plant grass in the backyard.

You should know that it is not my fault that there is no grass. There was no grass when I came to live here. So it's all Scout's fault.

The Grass Guy told Mommy and Daddy how his company would come and fix the dirt and plant the seed and add something stinky called compost and that it would cost gazillions of dollars but we would have grass.

And he explained how me and Scout could not play on the new grass for 6 weeks.

Hahaha, silly Grass Guy! Mommy and Daddy tried that last year and we just used our agility training and jumped over all of the fences!

Mommy says we HAVE to have grass this year because we live in a dust bowl and you can't open the windows because there's dirt flying everywhere and she can't sit outside and work because the dirt blows in her eyes.

Me and Scout talked it over and we decided that we would like grass, too. It would be soft and squishy under our feet and we could roll around in it and not get so dirty that we would have to have baths all of the time.

So Mommy and Daddy, we think you should spend the gazillion dollars and have the Grass Guy plant grass and we'll try not to jump too much on it so it can grow.

And then we can run and run and run all over it until it's dirt again and you can start all over next summer.

Love
Bandit

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Bandit makes a book puzzle for Mommy

Last year when I was still new to Mommy's house, she got some books in the mail. They smelled good so I ate them.

Mommy just found one with some of the pieces she saved, and she decided to try and put it together again. Except she is missing a lot of pieces. Sorry, Mommy. Those pieces went into my belly and came out a looong time ago!

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Scout the soccer star

Look at my big brother Scout. He's a very good soccer player!



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Hi Faceless International!

So Mommy's friend Super Cool Lori Lenz (ta da!) was at an event for something called Faceless International, and guess what? Lori said two people are talking about me and Scout!

HAHAHAHAHA! I told you we were famous!

Don't be scared! Mommy said the people at Faceless International do have faces. That would be very scary. How would they eat? Or kiss their puppies? Or see what color socks they were putting on in the morning? Or play mystery barf?

Mommy says that the name Faceless means that they do stuff for people around the world that usually get ignored. They feed them and help them and take care of them and love them and make them not get ignored any more.

Did you know that in some places - even in America! - mean people steal other people and then sell them? They get sold like puppies! Except puppies get to live in warm comfy houses and sleep in bed with their mommies. People who get sold don't get treated nice. They are forced to do things that Mommy says a little puppy should not have to hear about. That is not very nice at all.

It's good that my friends at Faceless are working hard to take care of those people.

So you can add Super Cool Lori Lenz to your list of friends, and also add all of my friends at Faceless International to your list. Because they work very hard to help people and still take time to read my blog.

Hmmm. Mommy said maybe me and her are going to take a road trip this summer. Maybe we can go visit Super Cool Lori Lenz and the people at Faceless?

Love
Bandit

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Cassie is a big Mystery Barf winner!

Cassie won a big round of Mystery Barf yesterday!

She was coming back to Rochester and drover her car as far the Thruway and she didn't feel good so she turned around and went home. The she barfed and barfed and barfed. And then barfed some more.

When she got done barfing, she drove to Mommy's house and crawled up in my spot on the couch so Mommy could take care of her.

Cassie thinks maybe she ate something yucky that didn't like being in her belly and wanted out. Well, it got out! And she's a big winner, too. She won the game because she doesn't know what made her barf plus she got bonus points because she also got Mommy to take care of her.

Ta da! That's the way we play the game! Keep Mommy guessing and paying attention to us!

We need to come up with a Mystery Barf prize.

Love
Bandit

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RELATED POSTS:
Me and Mommy play Mystery Barf (the rules of the game)
More mystery barf posts

A message from Bandit

This message has been brought to you by Bandit. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

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Let's go to the Puppy Prom!

Hey, did you know that there is a prom for puppies? I am not kidding.

The Morris Animal Inn in a place called New Jersey is having a big party where puppies can go and dance and play and swim and eat a lot of party food.

Some doggies get dressed up. Look at this silly picture. I would not be happy if Mommy made me go out to a party dressed up in a suit. It would be itchy and you can't wrestle if you're wearing a tie.

But guess what? Puppies don't have to wear a dress or a suit! Naked puppies are allowed!

I wonder if Mommy would be my date to the puppy prom? She would have to wear a dress, though. No naked mommies are allowed.

Love
Bandit

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Going to the feed store

So Mommy and I went on an adventure today to the feed store. Me and Scout take turns going on this adventure.

Guess what? They feed you at the feed store!

It's great! They have a whole bunch of shelves with boxes of biscuits and you can just stick your head in and eat however many biscuits you want. And the people who work there just say, "Oh, he's so cute!" while Mommy tells them to add the biscuits to our bill.

We bought some chicken feed and some dog food and some shampoo (boo!) and some new toys and spent all of Daddy's money.

We had a great time!

Love
Bandit


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Happy Bandit Celebration Day!!

Today is another celebration day because one year ago today I came to live with Mommy and Daddy! Yeah! It was the greatest day in the history of their lives, I'll bet.

First, I went with Kim to the diary farm because she helps milk the cows there. I had fun. I ate cow poop.

Then me, Kim, and a baby goat who was wearing a diaper drove to meet Mommy and Scout in a place called The Thruway. (Look at the picture of the baby goat wearing a diaper! Hahaha, that's so funny!)

It was the first time Mommy had ever seen me. Well, she saw a picture and that's when she fell in love with me. But she didn't know what to expect when she saw me. Kim told her I was a nice dog. Hahahaha! I'm a good faker!

You should know that Mommy wasn't definitely going to take me when she met me at The Thruway. She was just going to meet me and see if Scout liked me first.

Scout was happy to meet Kim and he seemed OK to meet me, and Mommy was already in love with me. So Mommy decided to bring me home and gave Kim all the money she had in the whole world.

Scout was not very happy when it was time for me to come home with him. That's because Mommy forgot to bring a carrier, so I was loose in the car - hahahaha!! First clue, Mommy! I'm lots of fun! Mommy put me in the car and I jumped over the seats and jumped on Scout and jumped and jumped and jumped.

So Kim said that Mommy should take her puppy carrier and stuff me back in it and then they could meet again to give it back. The carrier smelled like cows. Hahahaha! A crazy puppy and a stinky carrier in the car all the way home!

So I went home with Mommy. Everyone thought I was the cutest thing they'd ever seen. I got lots of snuggle time.

I was a good puppy. I slept. I ate. I barked. I peed and pooped in the house. I chased the cat. I chased Scout. I chewed everything in sight. I stole Scout's bed and his toys and I ate all of the cat food.

Look, here are some pictures!

And Mommy cried and cried and cried and told Scout and Daddy and Murphy that she was sorry she ever got another puppy. And she told Daddy that maybe I should go back to the farm.

Well, it took a while but I got everyone trained and now we're a big, happy family. And it all started a year ago today!

Love
Bandit

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We have Captain Hook worms!

You should know that me and Scout have had upset stomachs for a few days. Scout even barfed right on Mommy yesterday morning while she was in bed! (Double mystery barf points for Scout!)

Mommy had to take our poop to Dr. Hawkin's office so she could do experiments on it. Guess what? I have Captain Hook worms!

Since Scout has been sick, too, we both get to have medicine. I hope it tastes like chicken.

Mommy says that's what I get for eating poop all the time.

Love
Bandit


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Mommy is going to BlogPaws and she's not taking me

Mommy is going to a conference called BlogPaws. It's a big party where a bunch of people who write about dogs and cats and monkeys will meet each other. There will probably be coffee and donuts.

I think I should go to Blogpaws instead of Mommy, since I'm the one who writes this blog. Mommy says they let dogs sleep over in the hotel but since I can't go on the plane I have to stay here with Daddy and Murphy and Scout.

I don't know why I can't go on the plane. Uncle Eric is the one who flies the plane! I bet he'd let me ride up in front with him. I could help him push buttons. And Amberly is one of the pretty ladies who walk up and down the aisles handing out soda and cookies and barf bags. I could definitely help her do that.

Anyway, last time Mommy went on an overnight adventure without me I waited by the door the whole entire time because I missed her. I might do the same thing this time. I haven't decided yet.

Love
Bandit

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Me and Cassie play snuggle wrestle and then I sing her a song (VIDEO)

Cassie came over last night to play with me. Dali didn't come. So I played snuggle wrestle with Cassie instead. Then I sang her a funny song.




Love
Bandit


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I ouch Mommy

I made an ouch on Mommy's finger today. It was a big ouch. Blood even came out of it.

Here's what happened:

I had to go see Dr. Hawkins today for my yearly check up. Mommy was giving me some biscuits to keep me distracted while I got poked and had lights shined in my eyeballs and in my ears and my belly was squeezed to make sure my guts were healthy.

Well, Mommy had a biscuit in her fingers and I was chewing it but she forgot to let go and I chewed down really really hard on her finger. Ooops! It was an accident!

When Mommy took her finger out of my mouth it was bleeding. Dr. Hawkins looked at it and said Mommy should keep it clean and watch for an infection and that it would hurt but it should be OK.

So Mommy has a band aid on her pointing finger and it's hard for her to type. Plus she still has that sore bonked finger on the other hand where she whammed her fingers in the bathroom door.

I'm sorry Mommy. I feel bad. And I'll help you do your work today. But next time, remember to let go of the biscuit!

Love

Bandit

PS Dr. Hawkins said I am normal. Mommy laughed.

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A story about the meanest mommy in the history of the world

Once upon a time there was a mommy named Mommy, and she was the meanest, trickiest mommy in the history of the entire world.

One day, she said to her baby puppy, "Let's go for an adventure in the car!" And he went with her, because he loved to have adventures with his mommy. Especially in the car.

Mommy and her puppy went to their friend Tim Horton's house, and got some coffee and donut holes. Except Tim had to hand it to them out the kitchen window because Mrs. Horton doesn't let dogs in her dining room.

So Mommy and her baby puppy drove home, eating their donut holes. And the puppy was very excited, because he knew that there were even more donut holes in the bag Mommy had hidden in her purse.

When they got home, Mommy went upstairs and called her puppy. "Want another donut hole, puppy?" And he ran upstairs and found Mommy in the bathroom, holding a donut hole.

While the puppy was distracted by the donut hole, the mean mommy slammed the bathroom door, picked up the poor puppy and plopped him into the bathtub, and gave him a bath.

The End.


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Wild Maniac Dog is here!

Hello, my name is Wild Maniac Dog and I've taken over Bandit's body!! WHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I'm crazy! I bark at chickens! I jump! I bite! I won't come in the house when Mommy calls! I pee on the cat's scratching tree! I run around the yard like a crazy animal! I open the gate so me and Scout can go for a walk without Mommy and only come home when Hera's daddy finds us running in the street!

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Wild Maniac Dog strikes again!

Today is the first day of spring so Wild Maniac Dog will stay in Bandit's body all day. Maybe I'll let regular Bandit come back tomorrow. But right now, I want to be crazy!!!!

Love
Wild Maniac Dog


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End of a great celebration day

Today turned out to be an excellent celebration day. Not only was it Scout's birthday, but some other fun stuff happened!

Mommy got her car back from Cassie. Yeah! Now we can have adventures again!

Then Mommy went out for a while - like eleventeen hours - and when she came home she had new hair! She got it all chopped off and made streaky, like the sunshine dripped on it.

And she also brought home a new basketball for Scout. Plus, she brought a basketball for me, too, and it's not even my birthday! We ran around the yard and played all night.

So happy celebration day!

Love
Bandit


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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOUT!

Today is Scout's birthday!!! He's four years old!!

Scout is the best big puppy brother in the whole world. He taught me everything I know about how to be a good dog. I just don't do any of it. Hahahaha!

Mommy gave us hamburger and rice for breakfast. She said we are not having a cake because we are dogs and we don't need a cake. Plus we have had upset stomachs all week. That's OK. Celebration hamburger is great with us!

I wonder if Scout is old enough to drive? Me and him could go and visit Dali without Mommy!

Here are pictures of Scout when he came to live with Mommy and Daddy.

Wow, look at that! There used to be grass in our backyard!

And look at what a big dog he is now!

This is our cousin Goliath.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOUT!!!!

Love
Bandit

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How to eat bird seed

I like to eat birdseed when I help Mommy fill the birdfeeders. But you should know that puppies are really not supposed to eat bird seed.

That's because it might taste good when you're putting it into your belly, but it is not comfortable when it has to come out. Ouch.

Plus, I think that if you don't get it all out, the seeds will sprout and before you know it you will have birds growing in your belly and they will fly around inside your guts.

I guess a chickadee might be OK, but if you had a crow growing in your belly you would be in big trouble.

I'll bet if you have birds in your guts you would definitely have to go to the hospital and see Dr. Kirk and have him experiment on you to get the birds out.

So don't eat bird seed. Or if you do, make sure you poop out every single seed so no birds grow in your guts.

Love,
Bandit

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I get rewarded for being bad

Today must be a holiday because me and Scout each got to go for walk with Mommy all by ourselves. One dog, one Mommy and a bunch of hot dogs.

It's was great!

Mommy says that I have forgotten everything I learned in obedience class so I need lots of practice. That's why me and Scout each got alone time with Mommy today. Scout gets Mommy time every week when they go to school to read, but I don't get alone time on my leash with Mommy.

So now that the snow is gone and the sun remembered where we live, me and Mommy can practice together all by ourselves.

Just me, Mommy and hot dogs. Ta da!! I get rewarded again for being a bad puppy!

Love
Bandit

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Mommy bonked her finger

Mommy bonked her finger today when she slammed it in the bathroom door. Wham! The door slammed hard and her finger got whammed hard.

Poor Mommy. She said it hurts a lot but she doesn't think it's broken. It hurts when she types but not when she throws a glow ball! That's the good news!

But there is a big purple bonk mark on her finger.

It's a good thing I know how to type! I helped her do her work typing today. But she wouldn't let me help her make dinner.

Love
Bandit


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I'm a finalist in the 2010 Dog Blog Contest

Guess what? Mommy got a note today that said my blog is a big winner in the 2010 Dog Blog Contest!

Well, an almost big winner. I'm a finalist!!

I don't know what that means except that I am going to be famous.

The man who wrote to tell us the big exciting news said that I had enough fans who voted for me in Round 1 - thank you! - and then the people at the dog blog contest headquarters picked me and 19 other blogs out of 142 other blogs to be a finalist. Then they'll pick a big winner later.

Mommy gets some stuff.

I hope I get to go to Hollywood and meet Ellen and be on her TV show because she would fall in love with me. Except I wouldn't let Ellen take me home because I love my own Mommy.

Or maybe I can sing on American Idol. I'm a very good singer.

Or Chef Ramsey might cook me lunch. I like tea and I like chicken, Chef Ramsey. And I could bring you some eggs from our cranky chickens.

Probably we'll just get a nice ribbon to put on our blog. But even that is great because it shows how famous I am and that I am a big winner!

Ta da!! Today is another celebration day at the Funny Farm!

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Mommy locked Daddy in the chicken coop

Hahahahaha! Something really funny happened tonight.

Daddy and Mommy were outside looking at the stupid chickens. Daddy had to fill the hole they're digging because they're trying to escape so they can fly to Bermuda for vacation.

Mommy was checking to see if there were any more eggs because someone can't tell time and keeps laying eggs at dinnertime.

So here's what was so funny: when Mommy left Camp Cluck, she forgot and put the lock on and locked Daddy inside! He was still raking the dirt and had his back to her.

Mommy went in the house to finish making cookies and me and Scout were busy barking at Tina, because we like to say hello when she comes home from work.

That's when Daddy realized he couldn't get out of the chicken run.

Daddy kept calling, "Scout and Bandit! Go get Mommy!!" But we ignored him. We knew Mommy would come out if we kept barking.

Plus, nothing is going to hurt Daddy in the chicken run. He made it very safe. No one can get in and the chickens can't get out. So no dogs or hawks or wild giraffes could hurt him. He would be warm if he had to sleep there all night. Plus, there's food and water and probably some french fries from yesterday.

So we played and Mommy baked and Daddy yelled and yelled.

Finally, Daddy figured out how to take the door handle off so he could escape and we all went in the house. Daddy was laughing, which is a good thing because Mommy felt really bad. Another good thing was that there were fresh cookies.

So Mommy locked Daddy in the chicken coop and he still loves her anyway!

Love
Bandit

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Dali came to visit

I had a great weekend. My cousin Dali came to visit!

We did lots of fun stuff. We ran in the backyard and wrestled. I let her win a couple of times. Scout even played but he doesn't wrestle with Dali. Just me. Look, Mommy made a movie of us!




Then we came in the house and Dali made a big poop. Hahaha, it was so funny! We had to open the windows to let out the stink.

We greeted Daddy when he came home from work. Three dogs and a cat all wanting to give him kisses! Daddy felt very welcomed. He brought Mommy and Cassie french fries and cheeseburgers. And he said we couldn't have any. Boo.

And guess what? Mommy gave the stupid chickens the left over french fries! I guess that was a nice treat for the chickens. They can't go to Schallers like me and Scout and Dali get to do in the summer time. Maybe they make chicken leashes so we can bring them next time! Except maybe Daddy will make a mistake and cook the chickens. I guess we better leave the chickens home.

So we just played and chased Murphy and jumped on the furniture and had a great time. Mommy took our picture. Can you smell us? We stink. We smell great.

After a while, Mommy made us settle down and Dali started chewing some of my toys. And I decided it was time for Dali to go home. So I showed her my teeth and stuck out my tongue and told her to get into the kitchen. Right now.

Mommy gave me a time out. Well, I got two time outs because when I got out I still wanted Dali to go into the kitchen and leave my toys alone. So I kept showing her my teeth and sticking out my tongue. I was really mad.

Dali ignored me and just wagged her tail. But after a while me and her went into the kitchen and Dali showed me her teeth. And she has really big scary teeth! So I ran really fast to Mommy and hid under her legs. Mommy said I was being a big baby.

After Cassie did her laundry, Cassie and Dali went home. Me and Scout ate supper and we went right to bed. We were tired.

Anyway, you should invite your cousin over sometime to play. It's a good time! Just hide your favorite toys if you don't want them to get slobbered all over.

Love
Bandit

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Friday at the Funny Farm

One of Mommy's chickens laid an egg today that didn't have a shell.

I found it in a bowl on the stove and when I went to sniff it, all of the insides just fell out! I didn't squish it that hard, honest! Mommy said the shell was like paper, and it must be the first egg from one of the cranky chickens, like Coco or Mrs. Beasley. So she wasn't mad at me.

It's not the spring season yet, just mud season. So me and Scout are very, very dirty and stinky. And we like it that way. Even Mrs. Beasley and Coco were rolling around in the dirt today!

Haha, this was something funny that happened today! Mrs Beasley crawled under the coop and went to the little extra space behind and Mommy had to crawl through the coop window and rescue her. Mommy had to jump down and then figure out how to climb back up into the window. Mommy should join the circus!

Anyway, today was just another fun day at the Brokaw Funny Farm!

Love,
Bandit

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I'm learning how to spell

Sometimes Mommy spells words in front of us because she doesn't want us to know what she's talking about. Scout knows what she's spelling. He taught me that p-l-a-y spells "Let's go outside!" And b-a-l-l spells "Let's play ball!"

But I'm a very smart dog. I can spell, too.

I know that s-c-h-o-o-l spells "Bandit has to get in his crate so Mommy and Scout can go have an adventure."

You can't trick me, Mommy.

Love,
Bandit

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Mommy has a new job writing about how to keep your puppy healthy

Mommy got a new writing job! She's writing about how to keep your puppy healthy at Examiner.com. Her title is the Rochester Dog Health Examiner.

Mommy has to make more money so we can have lots of toys and biscuits and go to puppy school. And so Daddy can take a break once in a while from making french fries and hamburgers all day.

So go read her new articles and send her an email if you have questions about how to keep your dog from getting sick, or about what to do if your puppy breaks his leg, or if your dog goes into your purse and eats your inhaler, or barfs during the night. You know, stuff like that.

Love
Bandit

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Shhh! I have a surprise for Grandma!

Mommy says she had a dream last night that we bought Grandma a monkey for her birthday.

I think that's a great idea, Mommy! If Grandma had a monkey, she could teach it to do lots of stuff for her, like make her coffee and wash her car and help her frost Christmas cookies.

I'm going to start saving up the pennies and dimes I steal from Mommy's purse and buy Grandma a monkey for her birthday.

Don't tell her. It's a surprise!

Love,
Bandit

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What we did today and it was boring and I got pecked by a chicken

Here's what we did today.

We ate eggs with cheese for breakfast. Aunt Bea made some good breakfast eggs.

Mommy was all snuggly with her stupid chickens today because Ethel was getting picked on yesterday and Mommy felt sorry for her. She went out to the coop like a hundred bazillion times and held Ethel and pet her. You pet cats and dogs but not chickens. Right? I think Mommy is going cuckoo.

One time, Mommy was holding Aunt Bea, and I poked my head into the fence door and sniffed Aunt Bea. And Mrs. Beasley came over and pecked me right on my nose. That Mrs. Beasley is one cranky chicken.

When Mommy sat down to hold Ethel, Mrs. Beasley and Coco and Mrs. Wiggins and Aunt Bea kept pecking Mommy's feet and her legs and her jacket. Aunt Bea likes Mommy's wedding ring and kept trying to eat it off of her hand. Chickens are dangerous pets. Maybe we should get a pit bull instead?

Daddy was home today and no one played with us. Look at this picture of Scout; he kept saying, "Play ball! Play ball!" But instead Mommy wrote an article and Daddy was on his computer. We got to sit outside for as much as we wanted all day but we wanted to run. Mommy said the backyard was all ice and no one was running on it or we'd end up in the emergency room.

And she says that unless either me or Scout gets a job and pays off the last emergency room bill we are not going to get sick or hurt. HAHAHA, Mommy!

Then me and Scout had to get our stupid flea medicine and our medicine so we don't get wormy hearts. We stink like flea medicine. But Mommy doesn't care. She says we can sleep in the bed anyway. That's why we love Mommy. She loves us no matter how stinky we are. And we are pretty stinky.

Anyway, it's time for bed.

Love,
Bandit


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What we did this weekend

So we had a pretty boring weekend.

On Saturday, Mommy tricked me and Scout with hot dogs and made us get our fur brushed. Boo. Daddy fed us hot dogs while Mommy yanked us bald. She says we look prettier. I don't care if I look pretty. I like being stinky. But I did like eating hot dogs.

On Sunday, Daddy was home and he was fixing up the chicken's house because they are making more eggs! Daddy said the girls need more comfy egg-making beds so he spent the afternoon playing chicken coop repair man. Mommy didn't feel good so she stayed in the house. Me and Scout went outside with Daddy. Then we came in with Mommy. Then we went out. Then we came in. Then we went out. Then we came in. Out. In. Out. In. Then we watched a movie with Mommy. Then we went out and barked our heads off.

Today, Mommy took this picture of me and Scout. Did you even notice that our fur was brushed? See, Mommy. no one even cares if we're pretty or not.

Love,
Bandit

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Now I hate Thursdays

I used to hate Wednesdays because that's the day Mommy and Scout go to school to read.

But they changed days and now they read on Thursdays.

Today, Scout's friend Aunt Kathy the therapy dog trainer came and drove Mommy and Scout to school, and she got to stay with them and read and have fun.

I had to stay in my crate. Boo.

Now Wednesdays are OK but I hate Thursdays.

Love,
Bandit


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We get to eat one of the chicken eggs!

Mommy went out today and there was ANOTHER egg in the chicken house today! When she picked it up, it was still warm so one of the chickens must have made it fresh just for her.

Daddy was late for work this morning so Mommy saved the egg and when he got home, she scrambled it and we all got to have a taste. Mommy, Daddy, Murphy, Scout and me.

It was a very yummy egg. It was yellow and fluffy and tasted like sunshine.

Hurry up and make more eggs, chickens!

Love,
Bandit

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The chicken laid an egg!!

Guess what? One of Mommy's chickens laid an egg today!! It was a pretty egg. Look, you can see a picture on the chickens' blog!

Mommy doesn't know which chicken laid the egg. She thinks maybe Coco made the first egg, because of it's color.

All of the chickens told me they were excited about the egg but they wouldn't tell me which one made the egg. So I can't help Mommy with that mystery. Those mean chickens keep a lot of secrets. And they are cranky. Aunt Bea pecked me on the nose yesterday for no good reason.

Anyway, Mommy said we are not going to eat the first egg. I'm glad. It's a special egg. Today is celebration day!

Love,
Bandit

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When you gotta go, you gotta go!

I peed in my crate today. Well, I was inside my crate when I did it so I guess I peed out of my crate, because it was only a little wet inside my crate but really wet next to my crate.

I got the phone book and the pretty box and Murphy's scratching tree all wet.

I didn't want to pee in my crate! But Mommy went out and didn't come home for a bazillion hundred hours and I just couldn't hold it any more. (Mommy note: it was only 3 hours, Bandit.) I didn't pee because I was mad at Mommy, honest.

I went outside before Mommy left. But I don't remember if I went potty or not. I was pretty busy chasing Scout and barking at my friends. So I might have had to go before she even left. I don't remember.

I feel bad. Although Mommy didn't seem very mad. She just sighed told me to go outside and play while she cleaned up the mess.

I'm sorry, Mommy. I love you!

Love,
Bandit

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Look at the puppy that eats at the table!

Look at this puppy! His Mommy lets him eat at the table. And he can feed himself. He must be a very smart puppy. Except he is eating with his fingers, which is not polite. He should use a spoon.

Mommy, can I eat at the table, too? You know that I like spoons and forks. So I promise to use my manners.

Love,
Bandit

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