Bad dogs and crying mommies

Just in case you didn't know, if all of the sudden your mommy starts to cry, and you and your brother and sister have been really bad dogs for about eleventeen straight days, the two things probably have something to do with each other.

Love
Bandit

Visit Mommy's NEW dog blog, Bark Around Town, the blog about the Rochester dog community. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter!

Dear Scout and Bandit: Should we get another puppy?

Dear Scout,

We have a dog named Buster. He's a good dog and he's been with us for 4 years. Our friend's dog just had puppies and we thought we would bring one home as a playmate for Buster! Since you got a new brother this year, we thought you could tell us what you think about that idea.

Sincerely,
Buster's mommy and daddy

* * * * *

Dear Buster's mommy and daddy,

Gee, you must not like Buster very much. Or he's been a really bad dog and you're giving him the worst punishment you can think of.

Don't get another puppy! A puppy brother will bite Buster and eat his food and sleep in his bed and steal all of his toys. A new puppy brother will take all of the attention away from Buster because the new puppy will be soooo cuuuute! (barf) and Buster will just be the same old Buster.

Of course, you probably already have the new puppy picked out and named, so I don't know why you bothered to ask my advice. Tell Buster to write to me and I'll help him figure out what to do when the new puppy takes over his life and makes him want to pack up his Milk Bones and head for the hills.

Love,
Scout

Follow us on Twitter!

Dear Scout and Bandit: Getting Mommy's attention

Dear Scout and Bandit,

Sometimes when my Mommy is working I think she has forgotten all about me. I get bored. What can I do to get her attention?

Love, Rex


Dear Rex,

We have a lot of great ideas to help you get your Mommy's attention! These are things we have tried and we know they work really good.

Scout:
I start by going up to Mommy and staring at her. Don't move and don't do anything. Just stare.

If that doesn't work then you should act like there is a big, huge emergency, and whine and bark and, if you can, spin in a circle. Something like, "Mommy! Timmy fell down a well!!" or "Mommy! Come quick! The cat is in the washing machine!" Usually that will get her to pay attention to you and then you can tell her what you really want, which is to go outside to play catch.

Bandit:
My first idea is to find something Mommy really loves - shoes, oven mitts, something from her purse - and grab it and then RUN! If she doesn't see you right away, run up to her until she looks at you, and then RUN!

That usually works. But pretty soon Mommy will get wise to that trick and put her shoes in the closet and you'll have eaten all the oven mitts and she'll learn to zip her purse.

The next trick is to go in another room and make a lot of noise. Tip things over, scratch the carpet, chase the cat. Mommy will get up to see what you're doing.

My last idea - and this is probably the most fun because it's so tricky - is to go somewhere in the house and be very quiet. Don't make any noise at all. I'll bet your Mommy is more afraid of what you're doing when you're not making any noise than when you're taking silverware out of the kitchen sink.

One tip: If you're going to steal stuff and run, don't steal stuff like medicine. While it will get your Mommy's attention, it might make you have to go to the hospital where they will hook you up to machines and experiment on your blood to see if your electros will light. I learned that the hard way.

Hopefully those idea will help, Rex! Have fun!

Love, Scout and Bandit

Follow us on Twitter!

Scout and Bandit answer readers' questions: Who is Santa Claws?

Dear Scout and Bandit,

The girl who lives with me told me that in a few weeks, someone named Santa Claws is going to come into our house when we are asleep and eat our cookies.

I am scared! What do you know about this Santa Claws?

Love, Rover


Dear Rover,

Don't be scared! It's not Santa Claws, it's Santa Claus!

Santa lives at the North Pole, which is a very cold place. He must live near Governer Sarah Palin (Border Collies for Sarah Palin!). I've heard that he knows if you've been naughty or nice, so he must also be friends with God.

Santa is a really nice guy. Me and Scout have met him, actually. Here are the pictures to prove it. So we would know. Santa has biscuits.

He also has helpers who wear green stockings and no pants. Even the men. I don't know if he makes them wear dresses or if they just like having cold legs.

Mommy says Santa comes and brings presents to the good boys and girls, but dogs always get something even if they have been bad. So I don't know if he's going to eat your cookies, but he'll probably leave you biscuits and a toy instead.

So don't worry about Santa! He's a good guy!

Merry Christmas!
Love, Bandit

Follow us on Twitter!