Scout and Bandit's Guide To Life: Your Mommy is your Mommy because that's how God wanted it

Scout here! Bandit it way too excited to write (stop jumping on the keyboard, Bandit! I can't type!) so I'll tell you the exciting news myself!

Mommy got something in the mail today called a pedigree. It's a paper that lists all of Bandit's parents and their parents and their parents. When Mommy read it she got really excited! Then she went and found my pedigree and guess what?

Me and Bandit are related!! Isn't that exciting?

Both of our dog mommies have the same great grandparents, Joyful Prince and Shaloam Joy. What are the chances of that? We have different parents and came from different farms and everything.

And do you know what? Bandit wasn't even supposed to come to live with us!

Mommy said that some other Daddy was supposed to take Bandit after he was born. The man put down money and everything for Kim to hold the dog. But then the man's job changed and he couldn't have a dog. So when Mommy called Kim to see about getting a baby girl puppy, Kim told Mommy about Bandit. And Mommy decided to take Bandit instead! Even though he was not a baby and he was a boy. She said she saw his picture and fell in love right away.

And you know what else? That's sorta how I came to live here! Mommy and Daddy were looking for a baby girl puppy, and they found one. But Mommy said she wasn't sure she was supposed to bring that puppy home. She said she just felt like she needed to come and check me out at the Miller's house. I was older and a boy and not at all what they were looking for, and besides, someone else was already planning to come and probably get me.

But Mommy said she just knew. So she bought my dog bed and my food and a leash - before she even saw what I looked like! - and sure enough, those people called the Millers and cancelled their appointment to see me. So Mommy came instead. I remember she cried. I kissed her. We loved each other right away.

So here me and Bandit are, two dogs who were supposed to go home with other families but instead we're here with Mommy and Daddy and Murphy and the chickens and Cassie and Dali and Grandma. The best doggone family in the whole world. And we're almost like real brothers!

Mommy said it's exactly like God wanted it. Which means that the Mommy you have is exactly the Mommy God wanted you to have.

Isn't it great how that works out? God is so smart. He must be a Border collie.

Love, Scout

PS: Bandit here! Scout forgot to tell you something else about our pedigrees. His dog daddy and my dog mommy are both related to a dog named O'Brae's Coach! And do you know who owned O'Brae's Coach? My breeder mom, Kim, who I lived with for 15 weeks before Mommy came and got me! Isn't that so cool?

And you know what else I found out? Most of my dog daddy's relatives are from Texas! No wonder I'm such a conservative Republican dog!

Love, Bandit

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Scout and Bandit's Guide To Life: Friends or Food?

Scout here! Mommy and Bandit both told me about the adventure that they had this week going to meet former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

Mommy told me about the people she and Aunt Rene met, and the new friends they made, and how much fun it was to talk to everyone and get to know them.

Bandit told me about the stuff he ate, including Aunt Rene's bagel, Tim Bits from Tim Hortons, a cupcake wrapper, and some horse poop.

Mommy said she felt bad that she didn't bring me with her. She said that it might have scared me a little bit at the beginning, but that I would have gotten it over very fast and had a super great time with all of the people.

But since she could only bring one dog, and since she didn't trust Bandit alone with Cassie because he causes so much trouble, she had to bring him, instead of me.

I don't mind. Too much. I'm glad that I'm such a good boy Mommy can trust me. I just feel bad that Bandit didn't get to enjoy the best part of the adventure: meeting people!

He likes food, so the first thing he does when he meets someone is sniff them for treats. If they don't have any, he moves on.

I, on the other hand, don't really care about the treats. I want to kiss everyone and make them feel special.

Mommy says that's because I'm a bigger dog and I've learned the importance of being a good friend. She said Bandit is still a little puppy and so he's only interested in stuff like biscuits and what he can steal from your plate.

She said that I've learned the difference between getting and giving.

I've been thinking about that and you know what? She's right! Sure, I love to get treats. But I like to give love more.

I like friends. I like to see them smile when I come to visit, and feel how happy they are when they pet my fur. I like to find the people who are sad - maybe they haven't told anyone about their sadness but I can tell - and give them a special kiss.

Mommy said that as he gets older, Bandit will learn to give more and want less.

That's a lesson I sure learned when he came to live with us! Bandit was a big pain in the tail. I had to share my toys and my food and my dog bed. And my Mommy. I didn't always like that.

But now I can see how much Bandit loves Mommy and how much he needs my Mommy. Another Mommy might not be as patient with him when he chews books and stuff, and might be a Mommy who goes to work and leaves her dog in a crate all day. Which would be very bad for Bandit. So I wouldn't want him to have to try and find another Mommy. Mine is perfect for him.

And once I got over being mad, I could see how much Mommy loves us both. Plus Murphy! And Daddy! And Cassie and Dali! There is enough love for all of us, plus some left over to give away!

I think that even though I would have loved to go on the Sarah Palin adventure on Saturday, Bandit needed a chance to go with Mommy and learn about friends.

When you meet someone, do you want to get treats from them or give them love? I think that's important to think about.

Love, Scout

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Border Collies for Sarah Palin!

Bandit here!! I had the most exciting adventure yesterday: I went with Mommy and Aunt Rene to wait in line to get wristbands so they could meet Sarah Palin when she was in Rochester for a book signing!

If you don't know who Sarah Palin is, she's a Mommy who used to be the Governor of Alaska. Yup, she has a husband and kids (and probably some pets; she seems like that kind of Mommy) and she was in charge of running the whole state! It's a big state, way up near Russia, in the cold. That's a pretty big job, don't you think?

She is also the lady who ran for Vice President! Of the United States!! Mommy and Aunt Rene like her a lot because they say she's a lot like them, except she lives in a really neat place where they go fishing and snowmobiling and hunting all year round. I wish I lived in Alaska.

Anyway, Mommy and Aunt Rene wanted to make sure they would get a chance to meet Sarah Palin so we got up at 3:00 AM - that's in the morning! - and went to wait in line. When we got there, there were already almost 400 people in line! Some had even slept there overnight!

OK, you need to know that I didn't get to go because I was good boy. I got to go because I've been so bad. Hahaha, isn't that funny? Poor Scout. He had to stay home. Mommy felt really bad about that because he would have loved it. But she said one dog was enough to handle and Scout would be good while she was gone.

See, Cassie came and slept over Friday night. Daddy was going hunting yesterday while Mommy and Aunt Rene were gone. That would mean that Cassie would have to take care of me when she got up. Except she doesn't like me very much, so she ignores me. While she's ignoring me, I'm usually taking medicine out of her purse and eating from the garbage and chewing her shoes. Mommy said it was easier just to take me with her.

Hahaha! It was so great! I ate Aunt Rene's bagel and we went to Tim Horton's three times.

Plus, I met some police horses! I already told you about police men and police dogs, and now I learned that horses can be police, too. (I wonder if there are police cats?)

We also met a lot of very nice people. Some came all the way from New York City to see Sarah Palin! One man even decided not to get get in his tree stand to hunt in the morning so he could wait in line. And it was opening day of shotgun season!

Anyway, we waited for a long time and then came the best part: Mommy took me into the bookstore to get her wristband. Yup, the people at Borders let me inside with the people. Everyone was so nice to us.

We came home and Mommy and me took a long nap. Then she and Aunt Rene went back to wait in line again to actually meet Sarah Palin. I wanted Mommy to take me but she said that she didn't want to take a chance that the nice people at Borders wouldn't let me in again.

So I stayed home with Scout. When Mommy got back, she said it was a good thing I stayed home. There were a lot of people and even some people protesting (I would have bit them) but mostly they were in the store longer this time and she didn't think they would have let me in. But she said some people asked where I was. I'm a star! (Here's what Mommy said happened later that night.)

Anyway, I like Sarah Palin! She left a nice smell on Mommy and on the books. I think I will start a club, Border Collies for Sarah Palin.

I'm glad me and Mommy and Aunt Rene went to wait for Sarah Palin. We have a great adventure!

Love, Bandit

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Scout and Bandit's Guide To Life: Bandit (almost) meets another Bandit and learns an important lesson about being useful

Bandit here! Guess what?

The other night, a man came to the door. He was very tall and was wearing a blue suit with shiny stuff on it. Scout and I sniffed and sniffed and we could smell that he had a dog. We decided that he was a nice man and since Daddy knew him, we let him in the house.

It turns out that his name is Cuyler and he is one of Daddy's best friends. And he is a policeman!

At first, I thought maybe Mommy called the police to come and take me away, because I haven't necessarily been a good boy all the time lately.

But he wasn't there to get me. He and his partner had to come and look for a bad guy in town. But guess what? His partner isn't another man. Or even a lady. His partner is a dog!

And do you know what the dog's name is? BANDIT!

Hahaha, isn't that funny? The policeman has a dog named Bandit!

Mommy said that it was probably not a good idea for me to go and meet the other Bandit, because he was working. So I sniffed Officer Cuyler for a while, and I introduced him to my chickens.

Then Mommy and Daddy went out to meet the other Bandit. Then Kona and Killian's mommy Flow came over to make sure that we were all OK since there was a police car in front of our house. (Isn't she a good friend?)

Mommy showed me this picture that she took of Bandit:

I think I am glad I didn't go out and meet him.
Isn't this picture of Flow and Officer Cuyler scary?

No, Officer Cuyler! Don't arrest Flow!! Don't take her away!! She's a nice lady! She has dogs, too! (Hahaha, just kidding. He wasn't going to arrest her!)

After Officer Cuyler and Bandit left, I felt sad. The other Bandit has a very imporant job. He helps save people and put bad guys in jail. He had to have special training and go to police school and everything!

And my brother Scout has a very important job, reading with Timmy every week at school. He had to go to special school and pass a test to do that.

But I don't have a job. Maybe Mommy will get tired of me being bad and find another dog who is smarter and more useful and doesn't eat her cell phone.

But Mommy said, "Of course you have a job, silly. Your job is to take care of the chickens!" She said that the girls aren't afraid of me and I'm not afraid of them, and we get along really good.

When they're out in their coop in a few weeks someone will need to make sure no one bothers them, like other dogs and cats and racoons and that big hawk. That is my job and no one else can do my job. Scout can't do it because he's afraid of the chickens. Murphy can't do it because he wants to eat the chickens. And he's not allowed outside, anyway.
Mommy says that when she has me come with her to feed the chickens, and when she says, "Here Bandit, come and see Mrs. Beasley," she is actually teaching me how to take care of the chickens.

Yeah! I have a job! Mommy needs me! I didn't even know it!

So I learned this week that first, Daddy has some very interesting friends, and second, that even if you don't know it, you have a very important job that only you can do.

How about that?
Love Bandit

UPDATE: May 2010. Guess what? Me and Scout have a new job! We are spokesdogs for Faceless International. We're going to help them tell people about slavery and human trafficking and how they can help people escape from it!

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Missing school with the flu

Hi, everyone!

Mommy and I were supposed to go to school today to read with Timmy. But Mommy has had a really bad cough for weeks now, and then yesterday Cassie found out she has the swine flu.

I don't know what the swine flu is. Cassie didn't oink at all. She just lay on the couch and slept and said, "Mommy, will you make me something to eat?" and "Mommy, will you make me some tea?" and "MOMMY! Get stupid Bandit away from me!!"

Mommy called the doctor because she thought it was probably time to get her cough checked out - Cassie and Daddy have been telling her she's coughing too much, but she didn't think she was. Duh, Mommy!

The nurse at the doctor's office said Mommy should not go to the elementary school today. She said that maybe she has the swine flu or maybe there are germs at the elementary school that she will bring home to Cassie or maybe her cough isn't just a cough and she's spreading something to everyone.

So until she sees the doctor, Mommy thought it would be better if we didn't go to school.

I'm very sad about that. I didn't get to Timmy last week because there was no school on Veteran's Day. I don't want Timmy to miss another reading session.

But Noel to the rescue!! Noel and her Mommy do reading at the school, too, and she said they would go so Timmy could have his reading time. Yippee for Noel!

Noel is a very experienced reading dog. She knows exactly what to do. So I'll bet she lays down nice while Timmy reads. I hope he's not disappointed when Mommy and I come back since I'm still trying to figure it all out.

So today, Noel will read with Timmy, Mommy will go to the doctor, and I'll stay home and watch Bandit chew Mommy's slippers.

Love Scout

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How to get a free dog ID tag for only $48.81

1. Purchase two boxes of dog biscuits offering a free engraved dog ID tag. Cost: $5.98

2. Clip two proofs of purchase from biscuit boxes and mail to dog biscuit company, along with order form and a check for $1.99 to cover shipping and handling. Be sure to write the check from an account that you rarely use. Cost: $0.42 postage; $1.99 check for shipping and handling

3. Realize that you have money in a checking account that you rarely use! Immediately go shopping, making purchases with your debit card. Do not keep track of your purchases. When finished shopping, put the checkbook away and forget about it.

4. Wait a 4-6 weeks.

5. Receive a notice from your bank that a check has been returned for insufficient funds. The check total: $1.99. Balance at the time the check was presented: $1.95. Cost of insufficient funds fee: $15.00

6. Receive a notice from the dog biscuit company that your check has been returned. Cost: $25.00

7. Remit bounced check fee to dog biscuit company, along with bank check to cover the original $1.99. Be grateful your credit union does not charge for bank checks. Cost: $0.42 postage

8. Receive your free engraved dog ID tag, valued at approximatedly $1.99.

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Scout and Bandit's Guide To Life: You're so special

Bandit here. Mommy is letting me write on the computer again because my poop breath is all gone.

Mommy was sleeping in her bed this morning and I was just waiting for Daddy to come and let me out before he went to work.

It's the most exciting part of my day, because Scout and I get to wake Mommy up!

I can see Mommy's bed when I am in my crate. I had been sending her "Mommy wake up RIGHT NOW" stares for a while but she must not have felt them.

So as soon as Daddy opened the door to my crate, I burst out and jumped on the bed. I dove under the covers and under Mommy and rolled on her and wiggled and wiggled and wiggled and I even bit her once, I was so excited to see her. (Oops, that was an accident.) While I did that, Scout licked her whole face.

Mommy likes it when we wake her up like that. But today she said, "Why are you so excited to see me? I'm nobody special. I'm just Mommy."

Nobody special?! Is she kidding?! She's Mommy!

Then I thought about it. Maybe you're like Mommy and you don't think you're special because you're not on TV commericials and you don't have a fancy job that means you have to leave your puppy in the crate all day. Maybe you don't wear fancy clothes. Maybe you drive a car that makes a lot of noise. Maybe you spend your whole day at home taking care of kids or dogs or cats or chickens and you think no one notices you.

Maybe even someone who loves you bit you on accident and made you feel not special.

But trust me. You are so special and you make someone so happy that they want to wiggle. Maybe they don't wiggle in front of you, but I promise you they want to. Mommy tells us God made us all special, so I'll bet He wiggles all the time thinking about us!

Maybe today you should tell someone how happy they make you and how special they are. They probably need to hear it!

Love, Bandit

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