Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Bandit: Bandit here! So we woke up this morning and there was all of this cold white stuff on the ground. So I ate it. Is that like the stuff Mommy read about in the Bible? Manna? It tastes like something God would send.
Scout: No, silly. It's snow!!
Bandit: Oh, snow! What's snow? A new treat?
Scout: No, stupid. Snow is something fun to play with!
Bandit: And it tastes good, too!
Scout: Well, don't eat too much. It's really to play in. Just wait till there is so much snow in the backyard that when you go out to potty, the snow is over your head. That's really fun!
Bandit: Over my head? Will I disappear?
Scout: For a minute. Then you pop out and snow flies everywhere! It's the greatest. Mommy doesn't even like being out in the cold, but when there is that much snow, she'll come outside a lot and play with us.
Bandit: I can't wait!
Scout: And do you know what else happens when it snows? SANTA COMES!!
Bandit: YEAH!! Wait, what happens when Santa comes?
Scout: He brings presents to all of the good puppies!
Bandit: Sigh. I haven't been a very good puppy.
Scout: It's OK. Since you are still a puppy, he still brings presents. Once, I drank a bottle of wine and he still brought me presents.
Bandit: YOU drank a bottle of wine? I thought you were always good!
Scout: HAHAHAHA!! That's funny! I used to be a bad dog, too! I ate shoes and books and oven mitts and movies and lots of other stuff. Even a Christmas ornament. Then I barfed all over the house. One time, I was at Nana's and I threw up a big giant leaf and a piece of wood. I don't even remember eating them!
Bandit: Hey, I eat that stuff too! We really are brothers!
Scout: But listen. Someday you have to stop doing that and become a big dog. But until then, Santa still brings presents!
Bandit: YEAH! Santa's coming! Snow! Snow! Snow!
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