Back to the cemetery

Me and Mommy went back to the cemetery today. I peed on trees, Mommy took pictures. It was cold. We had fun. When Mommy got home, she blah blah blahed on her blog.

I'm going to take a nap.

Love,
BANDIT!!!

Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at Patheos.com. And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

My surprise adventure weekend (and I am a very, very bad dog)

"Are we there yet?"

I had a big adventure this weekend with Mommy and my Aunt Jackie. It was a surprise. We went to Pennsylvania to visit Grandpa for dinner because he is having a fiftyleventeen birthday next week.

Just in case you didn't know, Aunt Jackie is allergic to everything in the whole world. Even herself. But she has new allergy medicine and she feels grrrreat! So she said I could sleep in the hotel room with her.  But first I had to get a bath. Boo.

I love Aunt Jackie so I got a bath before our adventure.

Me and Mommy drove our dogmobile from Rochester and Aunt Jackie drove her not-dogmobile from her house and we met at a hotel called the Days Inn.

You should know that driving is boring. It is a lot of stuff passing you out the window and rain making noise on your roof and Mommy singing stupid songs. But you get snacks!



I am not smiling because it is boring to drive all that way.


So this is what we did when we got to Pennsylvania. First, Mommy and Aunt Jackie brought in their stuff. Then they got ready to go meet Grandpa and Carol for dinner. I was supposed to stay in the room, but when Mommy left I started barking and barking before she even closed the door. So Mommy said, "I can't leave him here." So she took me with her!

They went to a Barbie Q place and I waited in the car like a good boy. I didn't bark or anything. I just sat in the car and looked out the window and said to Mommy in my mind, Hurry up, Mommy. Hurry up, Mommy.

Then we went to Grandpa and Carol's house for a little while. You should know that when you go to visit your dad and take him out to dinner it makes him very, very happy. So happy that if you also bring your dog and your dog chases his cats, he won't even care!



This is Grandpa. This is also Carol's foot.


Then we went back to the hotel. Staying in a hotel is fun. You can jump on the beds (only if you have sheets over the bedspreads to keep off paw prints) and have breakfast in bed and stay up late and watch TV. It's a great, snuggly time.

When you stay in a hotel, you get breakfast in bed!



It's fun to snuggle in bed and watch cable TV.


Anyway, I did not poop at all on Saturday, so me and Mommy did a lot of walking around the hotel and the neighborhood behind the hotel. I didn't find anyplace good to poop even though we tried a lot of places. But in the morning I really had to go, so I pooped in the hotel garden. When you really have to potty you can't be picky.

You should know that Mommy picked up the poop because that is what good mommies do. You are not allowed to poop and leave it in the garden.

When Mommy and Aunt Jackie went to breakfast with Grandpa, they left me in the hotel room because they were just at the restaurant next door. Mommy gave me a Kong with peanut butter and I got up on the bed and laid down like a good boy. She closed the door and listened for me to bark (I didn't) and then went to have eggs and bacon.

Except I was only a good dog for about twelve seconds. Then I was a bad, bad dog. I barked and barked and tried to open the door and I found a leash and chewed it up and when I was done with that I chewed up the door.

That is not an April Fools.



Yup. I was a bad dog. I'm sorry!!


Even though I didn't get arrested, I guess it is a big deal when you are a dog and you chew up a hotel door. So Mommy told the front desk lady and the front desk lady called her boss and they told Mommy they would call her today to tell her how many eleventeen hundred dollars it would cost to fix my badness.

I think Mommy wasn't having a good time any more. She was worried it would cost so much to fix that she would have to sell the cat to pay for it.

Aunt Jackie told Mommy that at least she had something to write about now, and Mommy said, "Oh well, there's nothing I can do now except pay for it." But I heard Mommy and Aunt Jackie talking about going to Reptileland to see the alligators and snakes, and I was worried Mommy was going to leave me there because I had been so bad.

But they decided to see the creepy crawlers the next time we had an adventure. Yay, I was not going to be lunch for an alligator! So we drove home.

It rained and snowed and I was not happy in the car and going home was not much more fun that driving there.




This is what it looked like out my window the whole way there and the whole way home. Boring.


But guess what happened today? When the nice front desk lady called she said it would cost zero dollars to fix my badness. Zero means no dollars! She said that there are a lot of dogs who do way badder stuff than what I did and they just leave and don't even tell anyone. She said the hotel fixer guy could take care of my badness pretty easy. That made Mommy cry.

So we had a fun dinner with Grandpa and Carol and got to watch TV and eat snacks in a hotel and be bad and not get arrested for it!

That is my surprise weekend. I think we should have another adventure weekend, except I should not stay alone in the hotel by myself again.

Love
BANDIT!!!!!!!!!

Visit Mommy at http://www.joannebrokaw.com/.  And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

Spring pictures are boring

Are we done, Mommy? Can we just go to Tim Hortons, please? Now?

If you visited my Facebook page you saw that Mommy made us take stupid pictures in the daffodils at the cemetery.

I hate getting pictures taken. I just like to go run around and then go to Tim Hortons for a Tim Bit. But Bailey rolled around in some stinky animal potty, so that was pretty funny!!

Hahaha! Bailey flopped around in something stinky!!

I did have one good adventure this week. Daddy let me ride in his truck when he took me and Mommy to pick up the dogmobile at Jim the car fixer's.

You ride up really high off the ground and the wind blows your fur all over. It was fun.

Love
BANDIT!!!

Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at Patheos.com. And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

Today was Everybody Get Your Checkup Day!

"Don't worry, Murphy! Dr. Hawkins is not scary!"

Today was Everybody Get Your Checkup Day, which meant that Murphy got stuffed into his carrier and me and him went to see Dr Hawkins to get our bellies squeezed and our teeth inspected and get shots shot into our butts. And then when we were done, Mommy took us home and then Bailey had to go and get herself checked up, too.

Murphy got scared when they took me away to suck out some blood.

Murphy is scared of going to the vet but he said he wasn't as scared since I was there with him. I'm a good boy at the vet, even though they sucked out some of my blood to do experiments on to see if I have a wormy heart.

Murphy has an ouchy tooth that has to get yanked out when Mommy has about fortyleventy dollars.  And I got weighed and Dr Hawkins said I gained seven pounds since October.

This is how Dr. Hawkins looks inside of your ears.
I think she can see all the way to my brain but I am not sure.

I think that means I am fat. So now I have to have not as many treats and less food and more walks.

Mommy said Bailey was a super duper good girl, which I don't believe because she is usually a bad, barking girl. But Mommy said Bailey didn't bark and she did tricks for everyone and the girls kept saying, "Bailey is being a very good girl!" And when some people came in with a cat, she only barked a little.

Bailey did not stink up the big waiting room. She waited until
she got into the little checkup room! Peee-eew!

But hahaha, Bailey had a lot of gas!! She farted a bunch of times and stunk up the whole room! I wish I was there because that would have made me and Murphy laugh a lot. Scout would have liked it, too.

Anyway, Bailey had to get some blood sucked out for a wormy heart test, and Dr. Hawkins checked Bailey's ouchy hips. She does not need to have a diet.

Just in case you didn't know, Everybody Get Your Checkup Day costs about eleventy million dollars but it is imporant to make sure that us animals are healthy. Mommy would not have known Murphy had a ouchy tooth or that I wasn't fluffier because my fur was more squisher but because I was fluffier in my belly.

I think if I have to lose pounds Mommy needs to lose pounds, too. What do you think about that?

Love BANDIT!!!

Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at Patheos.com. And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

Why me and Mommy should win the“Eukanuba Paws In Motion to BarkWorld” contest

I think me and Mommy need another road trip adventure!

You should know that Mommy entered a contest to win a free trip to the blogging conference called BarkWorld. If Mommy wins the trip, she gets to fly on an airplane and stay in a fancy hotel and have some fun times with her pet blogging pals.

No fair! I want to go to BarkWorld. It sounds like lots of fun. Kind of like Disney World, except with barking.


I like to stay in hotels. I get my own bed!


Just in case you forgot, I am a good dog to take on a trip. Remember? Last year I went with Mommy to another writing conference. I was a good boy in the hotel. I didn't pee inside or chew up anything and I only barked when I had something really, really important to say. I didn’t eat any food off the buffet table or chase any kitties. Not even the cat wearing a dress. Plus, I got to go to a movie and have popcorn and everything!



All that food and I didn't eat any of it.
I know you don't believe me, but it is the truth!

 Mommy says I can't go this time because this conference is far away and if she wins she will fly on an airplane. Just in case you didn’t know, they only let dogs on planes if they ride with the luggage. I am not a suitcase.

But guess what? Uncle Eric is a pilot who flies giant planes! Maybe I could ride up front with him. I am good at helping with maps and directions. And Uncle Eric never gets mad at anything, so even if I barfed on him while we were flying really fast, he would still love me.



I helped Mommy drive a dogmobile, so I could definitely help Uncle Eric drive a plane.
"OK, Mommy! That big truck is gone. You can back up now!"


I think Mommy should win a trip that pays for her hotel and gives her a dogmobile to drive so I can come, too. Our dogmobile is too grumbly to make it from New York to Georgia and we don’t have fortyleventeen thousand dollars to fix it. That way we can have a fun road trip and I can pee in a more than four states and visit all of our friends along the way and stay in a fancy hotel with my own bed and have a nice Mommy and Bandit vacation.

And my stupid sister Bailey can stay home with Daddy. Hahaha on you, Bailey!

Bailey can stay home with Daddy and breathe her poop breath in his face
while me and Mommy have another adventure.

I will let you know if the BarkWorld pals decide to let us win. I would be a good dog reporter, don’t you think?

Love,
BANDIT!!!

Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at Patheos.com. And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

A walk in the cemetery

Me and Mommy at Pittsford cemetery.
I think the people who are asleep there like to have visitors.

Even though it was dark and rainy Mommy took me and Bailey for walks in the cemetery. I got two walks! First, we went to our regular cemetery. Then we went across the street to say hello to Mommy's friend John who is alseep in that cemetery. Then Mommy took me to a place called Mt. Hope Cemetery.

Mt. Hope Cemetery has a lot of something called history. That means there are about eleventygazillion people who are asleep there, including some famous people.



There are lots of gravestones to read at Mt. Hope Cemetery
.

 I didn't meet anyone famous. Me and Mommy just did some walking and and walking and walking until I was too tired to pee on any more trees. Really, I was too tired to even lift up my leg. Mt. Hope Cemetery is a big place!

Just in case you forgot, when you walk in the cemetery you are allowed to pee on the trees but you are not allowed to pee on the gravestones. And if you are a dog, you have to stay on your leash, too. (If you are a person, you don't need a leash. Unless you get lost easy. Then you should probably just stay in the car.)



"Don't be afraid, Mommy! I will protect you if something scary happens!"

Walking in the cemetery is fun. And even though it is very quiet there, you are never alone! But it is still good to have a dog to protect you, just in case.

Love
BANDIT!

Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at Patheos.com. And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!

I'm Bandit and I ride inside!

This is a picture I made for my pal Rusty, at DogsAgainstRomney.com. Do you ride inside with your Mommy or on top of your car like Mitt Romney's dog?

Visit Mommy's new Heavenly Creatures blog about animals and faith at Patheos.com. And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!