Bandit's letter to Aunt Jackie, who is in the hospital with lumpy blood

Dear Aunt Jackie, I am sorry that you have to be in the hospital because you have lumpy blood.

Mommy says they are taking out your blood so they can do experiments on it. Don't be scared! But you should know that they are probably going to put some secret stuff in your blood before they put it back into your body. So you might go home with super powers!

It's a big responsibility to have superpowers. But it is also fun. When I had to go to the hospital after I ate Mommy's inhaler, they made me wear a lampshade on my head and then they took out all of my blood and did experiments on it, too. But now I can talk to people with my mind. Super Electro Dog! Ta da!

I hope your superpower is flying and not seeing through walls. I wouldn't want to see strangers in the bathroom. Blech.

Mommy says that if you are bored we can come and visit! It'll be great! I will come and sleep over and chew up your slippers and put dirty paw prints all over your couch and bark at Goliath. That will make you not think about your lumpy blood any more.

Get better soon! Say hi to the doctors for me! I hope they don't make you wear a lampshade on your head.

Love
BANDIT!!

PS: Aunt Jackie, today is National Hairball Awareness Day. But we puppies say, Bring On The Barf! If you barf up a hairball, let me know! You get extra bonus Mystery Barf points if you barf in the hospital!


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Help us learn how to be good dogs

Mommy is wrecking all of our fun.

When Mommy is in the house and we're outside, and someone comes to visit, we bark and bark and jump on the gate to say hello and let Mommy know we have company.

And the visitors try to get us to stop barking and jumping by giving us biscuits or talking to us or saying all kinds of words we don't understand.

And that just makes us bark and jump even more!

But Mommy says that she doesn't want people to pay any attention to us when we're being bad dogs. She says visitors are only allowed to talk to us or give us biscuits if we are sitting quietly.

So she put a sign up on the gate!

Boo on that idea, Mommy. We like being bad barking dogs!

Love
Bandit

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Bandit visits Pet Saver Superstore

Today Mommy and Scout went to the bookstore and Scout was adventured out, so I got to go with Mommy to the pet store!!

We went to Pet Saver Superstore. We love that store because everyone loves us and gives us biscuits.

Well guess what? They made a whole new store! It's pawesome!

They have new floors and lights and shelves and the stuff looks yummy and pretty.

Best of all, the people are still the nicest pet people in the whole world. They gave me biscuits and told me how handsome I was and let me sniff around behind the counter even though I wasn't supposed to. They sure are happy people who work there!

The bad news is that the store has a dog wash, which means that your mommy can take you there and soap you and drown you and dry you with the tornado and then brush you bald. But when you are done you can get a treat, so it ends up good.

And they have food and treats that are good for you but taste good, too! Mommy got some more Buddy Biscuits and some stuff to make our teeth clean (blech) and some more dog food and some worms for the chickens.

So today me and Scout both had adventures. And we also didn't get yelled at by Mommy's new birdhouse because we have learned that we are not supposed to bark in the backyard. But the front yard is bark city! Hahahaha!!

Love
Bandit

PS You can read what Mommy had to say about the store on her Examiner page. Did you know Mommy's a writer, too?

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Scout's bookstore adventure

Scout here! I went on an adventure today with Mommy to another bookstore.

I love Mommy but I don't really love adventures. I want to love adventures, really I do. I want to go when she asks and I'm always excited to see where we're going.

But I don't like to ride in the car for too long. It makes me nervous and I have to sit on the floor on the friends & family side of the car.

The bookstore was too much for me to take in all at once. Too many smells and the lady talking and all of the books. Mommy found what she wanted pretty much right away but she wanted to look at more books. But I was really ready to go.

Mommy and me went to Tim Horton's for a donut, though, and I loved that a lot! And I love when the car takes us to the park to play.

Some adventures are fun, but some of them just make me nervous!

Love
SCOUT!!


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April 30 is Hairball Awareness Day, but I say Bring on the barf!

Romeo the Cat has teamed up with Furminator for Hairball Awareness Day on April 30. They're going to tell people how to help their cats not get hairballs.

But I say, Bring on the barf!

Cats can try and have no hairballs, I guess. Our cat brother Murphy doesn't get too many hairballs.

But we puppies like to play Mystery Barf!

In fact, yesterday, I barfed up a ginormous ball of fur and pieces of a plastic lid I ate a few days ago. It was bigger than a golf ball but smaller than a tennis ball, and it was really yucky.

It was great! I grossed out Mommy and I got a special rice breakfast! Bonus points for Bandit!

And today Scout didn't even barf and he won the game!

So while all of the cats are trying not to cough up hairballs, tell us what the grossest thing is that you ever barfed up. You get extra points if you got someone you love to take care of you!

Love
Bandit

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Scout is the Mystery Barf champ - and he didn't even throw up!

Last night Mommy slept in the regular bed and Daddy slept in the snoring bed, so me and Scout split up. I slept with Mommy and Scout slept with Daddy.

This morning, before God cracked open the sky so the sun could come out to play, Mommy woke up fast and said, Bandit, did you just throw up?

Not me, Mommy. I'm sleeping right here on your feet.

So she jumped out of bed and ran to the snoring bedroom and said, Did Scout just throw up? Daddy woke up and said, NO.

Gee, Mommy said, I thought I heard Scout throw up. I must have dreamt it.

Hahaha,  Mommy! That's hilarious! You were dreaming and Scout threw up in your dream so you woke up!

Maybe it wasn't a dream. Maybe it was a ghost puppy! Yup, it was a ghost puppy who threw up. The ghost puppy is also the one who keeps eating your slippers and taking all of the plastic containers out of the cupboards and drinking your tea when you turn your head.

Ta da! The ghost puppy did it!

Since we were up already, me and Scout went out and did potty and then we all went back to bed.

But Scout gets all of the Mystery Barf points today because he made Mommy get up and worry about him - and he didn't even have to barf to do it!

Love,
Bandit

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Bandit's adventure to the bookstore

Today was my day to have an adventure with Mommy. Momy said that if she didn't get out of the house she was going to fall asleep or eat a whole pan of brownies. Or both.

So we took a long ride in the car and went to the used bookstore to see Mike the book man.

Mike's bookstore is filled with eleventy four gazillion books. There were books on shelves and books on tables and books in bags. Books from floor to ceiling!

Mommy spent a lot of time sitting on the floor looking through stacks of books, and when she couldn't find one, she asked Mike. And he knew right were everything was, even though none of the books were in order.

These are books that other people used to own and then traded to Mike the book man. That means that the books are all filled with very interesting smells.

I spent a lot of time sniffing. Sniffing and sniffing and sniffing books that smelled like people and food and other dogs and all sorts of sniffy things. I sniffed a few people who came into the store but mostly it was just me, Mommy and Mike in the store. I sneaked away from Mommy a couple of times and went behind Mike's desk to see what he was eating. But mostly I just sniffed around to see if there were any tasty books Mommy should bring home.

Then I laid down and took a nap till we were done. Mommy said I was a very, very good boy.

After we came home, me and Scout and Mommy sat outside in the sunshine. Mommy read a book and me and Scout just slept like two lazy old dogs who have learned not to bark so they don't have to hear a scary noise. It was a great adventure.

You should go to the bookstore sometimes. It's nice to sniff books. It's important to read. And the computer doesn't smell or taste as good as a nice paper book.

Love
Bandit

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There's a scary noise in the backyard and it makes us not want to bark

Me and Scout have been being bad dogs lately. We bark. A lot.

We bark at the mailman and we bark at the man across the street who plays ball with his dog in the street in front of our house. We bark at the neighborhood kids (and they bark back at us, which just makes us bark more!). We bark at Kona and Killian, and they bark at us. I bark at the cranky chickens to tell them to Be nice, you dumb chickens!

And sometimes I just walk around barking because I'm so happy.

Me and Scout think we're doing a good thing. We're saying hello and being friendly!

Except Mommy says No more barking!! You're making everyone crazy!!

Sometimes we get blamed for barking when we're not even barking. Sometimes there are lot of barks happening outside and we're inside all snug in bed with Mommy and people say We heard your dogs barking this morning. Sorry silly, that wasn't us!

But sometimes we are barking machines!

We tried to stop barking but it's not easy for a dog to stop doing dog stuff.

Then yesterday something happened when I started barking at the chickens and Scout barked at me. A big noise is what happened. It scared Scout a lot. He stopped barking and ran right into the house.

I stopped barking to hear where it came from but it had already stopped. So I barked again. And the noise happened again, but when I stopped barking the noise stopped.

Uh oh. Something spooky is going on because Mommy said Silly puppy, I don't hear any noise!

Kona and Killian came out into their yard to bark and but me and Scout decided that we're not going to bark back at them because of the scary noise.

I think the scary noise might also scare the birds, because Mommy got a new birdhouse but we haven't seen any birds go into it at all.*

So me and Scout decided we're going to pretend we stopped barking because Mommy asked us to, but really we're not going to bark because of the scary noise. I'll let you know what makes the noise once we find out!

Love,
Bandit


(*Don't tell Bandit, but the scary noise is coming from the birdhouse! It's a bark deterrent that emits an ultrasonic noise when the dogs bark. - Mommy)


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Man tries to sell kids on Craigslist

This weekend a man was arrested because he tried to sell his children on Craigslist. The man put up an ad that said you could buy his kids and use them as "child slaves and footstools."

Someone saw the ad on Craigslist and called the police. They arrested the bad man. He told the police Hey, it was all just a joke, haha!

No, Mr. Bad Man, it is not a joke. Do you know why? Because every day lots of little kids get sold just like you were pretending to do with your kids! And they really do get sold to people who use them for slaves.

The police said that they believe he was joking but they were mad because they had to spend all that time making sure his children were safe when they could have been out catching even badder guys.

The man got a ticket and has to go to court. I think he should get a big giant bite on the leg from a police dog.

Just in case you didn't know, you are not supposed to sell your kids. You are supposed to love your children and protect them and not make jokes out of having bad stuff happen to them. Because that kind of bad stuff really does happen to kids.

Love
Bandit

PS: Here is a real story you can read about a real girl who was a slave ... in America.

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We love Buddy Biscuits

Mommy brought us home some new biscuits this week. They're called Buddy Biscuits and we love them!

Mommy likes them because they are made in the USA from all natural ingredients. No crunched up bones from old animals and no artificial anythings. Plus, the people who make Buddy Biscuits give part of their biscuit money to charity.

Who cares about all that stuff? Me and Scout like them because they taste great! We got the Sweet Potato Madness kind.

These biscuits are shaped like gingerbread men. Mommy likes that they are easy to break in half. She usually splits biscuit treats for us because we eat a lot of them and she doesn't want us to get fat. Sometimes I get the gingerbread man's head and sometimes I get his feet. But they both taste great.

So ask your Mommy to try some Buddy Biscuits. Mommy says they are a little bit more expensive, but she says that it's worth the extra pennies to make sure we eat good stuff and support companies that are in the USA.

You can visit the Buddy Biscuit website and see what other good stuff  they make. Mommy says to tell you that she bought her box of biscuits at Wegmans grocery store and they weren't much more than our regular biscuits.

Love
Bandit


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Bandit writes a letter to Bo Obama

Dear Bo Obama,

Hi, paw pal! Mommy read an article today that said you have been in your new home at the White House for a whole year, and that no one threw you a party or anything.

Boo on them, Bo. You need a party.

It's a super big celebration day when a puppy comes to live with his new family and you need a party every year! But maybe the Obamas just don't appreciate you like they should. The article said that you had to live with another family before you went to live in the White House. Is that true?

How come, Bo? Was that so you could learn not to poop in the Oval Office or chew up the carpet in Lincoln's bedroom? Did someone teach you how to sit and stay and spin in circles before the President would let you come home?

That's too bad. They shouldn't worry about you knowing how to do all that stuff. It takes a long time to learn how to be a good dog. Trust me, I know. Your family won't appreciate what a good dog you are unless they also knew what a bad dog you were. And part of the fun of having a family is getting to learn how to be a good puppy while you wreck their house being bad!

I saw that picture of you and your family. They seem pretty nice, I guess.

But Mommy read in the article that you don't even have your own page on the White House website. What's that about? That stupid cat Socks had a page, and Barney the dog had a webcam.

You should have your own blog! We want to hear all about life in the White House! Even though you had to get puppy schooled before they let you move in, do you eat Mrs. Obama's shoes? Has the President stepped in your poop yet? Do they feed you from the table? Do the girls let you sleep in their bed, even after you run through the sprinkler and dig in the flower beds? If they do, then they are a good family. Dirt is a good bonding thing. 

Your daddy the President should give you an official job so you can have your own page on the White House website. Me and my brother Scout are spokesdogs for Faceless International. We are going to help teach people about human trafficking and how to be nicer to each other and help each other out more. Talk to your daddy about finding a good job for you. Or maybe he would let you come to a Paw Pawty.

Anyway, Bo, I have to go because my friends are barking at the back fence and we need to have a meeting about Mommy's cranky chickens and that nasty cat on the next street. Me and my brother Scout hope you are having lots of fun in the White House. But we doubt it, if you aren't even having a One Year With The Family party.

If you ever want to have a play date, let us know. We'll come over and run around in the Rose Garden and then go inside and pee on something. It'll be great!

Love,
Bandit

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Water dogs, dirt and other fun summer stuff

Today is a great day and it's not even lunchtime!

Mommy took me and Scout to the park this morning and let us run and run and run. We played a little puppy school, and Mommy also learned that I can jump out of the car window even when it's only cracked open a little bit.

Then Mommy took us home and put out a brand new water dog sprinkler!! It makes a lot of different waterfalls. Some make little waterfalls, some make big giant sprays, and one even is a Mommy drencher. Hahahaha! It was great.

Then we rolled around in the dirt and had ourselves a great time.

Mommy says we are not allowed in the house until we are all dried. That's OK. We like to stay out and bark at our friends, anyway.

Scout says we will pay for all of this fun because Mommy will make us get in the bathtub and get soaped and drowned. I say who cares? Let's play now and worry about the bath later!

Love

Bandit

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Me and Scout get to play at Aunt Rene's house

Mommy took me and Scout to Aunt Rene's today so we could run around her ginormous backyard and play with the kids.

Mommy was worried about me because I've never been around too many little kids before, and sometimes I get excited and get jumpy or I nibble fingers when I take food out of people's hand.

But I was a very, very good boy. I let the kids pet me and I ate some leftover pizza off the outside table so Aunt Rene didn't have to clean it up and I ran around the yard until my tongue didn't want to stay in my mouth any more.

Scout had a great time, too. Aunt Rene has a lot of grass in her backyard and we got run and run and run and run and chase the ball and run some more. It was great. The kids were very excited to see us! Look at these picture:

This is me and AJ, Aunt Rene's little baby. Hey, I'm Mommy's baby, too!

This is AJ's big brother Paul. He's Aunt Rene's big boy, and Scout is Mommy's big boy!

And do you know what the greatest part was? I was such a good boy with the kids that Mommy said Hey Bandit, maybe you would like to take the therapy dog test so you can go to school and see the kids.

I might like that.

I can't wait to go back to Aunt Rene's and run around on her soft, squishy grass.

Love
Bandit

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Scout and Bandit become the spokesdogs for Faceless International

Guess what? Me and Scout have some super cool fantastic news to share!!

We're going to be the spokesdogs for Faceless International! (You remember, we wrote about Faceless before.)

Isn't that great? They're going to use me and Scout to help teach kids about the very serious problem of human trafficking.

No, human trafficking is not when forty-leven hundred people all try to cross the street at the same time.

Human trafficking is when bad people steal other people and sell them, or force them to do horrible things that they do not want to do, and keep them in terrible places without food and water and won't let them go home to their mommies no matter how much they cry.

It is not a nice thing at all.

Me and Scout are going to help Sarah and Nancy and Super Cool Lori Lenz answer questions and tell stories and teach our readers about this, and tell you how you can help.

Plus, and this is really exciting, Mommy says one of us pups is going to take a road trip with her and maybe even visit some schools and people who are helping Faceless! I know it'll be me she takes, because Scout doesn't like to ride in the car.

So keep checking back for more stuff about Faceless International and how you can help fight human trafficking. You won't even have to leave your house.

LOVE
BANDIT!!!

PS: you can read what Mommy has to say about this. And you can visit our friends Faceless International, too!

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Vote for us for Dog of the Week! Vote! Vote!

Vote for me and Scout to be the Dogs of the Week at the website, A Dog's Purpose!!

If we win, Mommy gets a book that she would buy and I would eat anyway.

But Lollypop Farm gets $65 from the author to help spay or neuter a dog. Which is a good thing, but I don't want to think about it too much. Ouch.

Anyway, here's how to vote:

1. Go to our picture on Mr. Bruce Cameron's "A Dog's Purpose" website.

2. Click the stars at the top. Please give us 5 stars!! The dogs with the most stars get to be on the front page and you know how much I like to be in front of everyone.

3. You can vote for us once every 24 hours. So vote again tomorrow!

Mommy knows Mr. Bruce Cameron from a writing conference they both went to. She calls him her writing friend. He just knows her at the cuckoo bird from the conference.

He is a very famous person to know. He wrote a book called "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter." They made it into a TV show and he became a gazillionaire. But he is still a very nice man.

Now he wrote a book about a dog. And the story is told by the dog! We can't wait to read it! Another dog who writes!!

Vote for us! Vote for us!! You can put your puppy's picture in the contest, too. Then we can all win a book and eat it together!

Love
BANDIT!!!!

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God forgot to turn on the heat today

Today when God cracked open the sky so the sun could come out and play, He forgot to turn the heat on. So the sun got chilly and went back to bed.

I hope God puts the heat back on soon. Mr. Sunshine wants to come back out but he's too cold. And Mommy gets very cranky on when there's no sun or heat.

No puppy likes a cranky Mommy.

Love
BANDIT!!!!

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Scout's note to Daddy

Scout is a fraidy dog. He won't go potty in the rain and he won't go potty if the chickens are bawking and he won't go potty in the dark. He will only do nite nite potty for Daddy.

When Daddy has to work late, Scout has to leave a note for Daddy to find when he comes home in the middle of the night:

HAHAHA!!

Love

BANDIT

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A BlogPaws hello to our Canadian friends

Mommy has a gerbil in her computer that tells her who has been visiting our blog, and guess what? A lot of people in Canada visited this week!

I don't know why we're so special with our friends north of the border, but we wanted to say:

We love Canada! We live near Canada! We have friends in Canada!*  We love Tim Hortons!!!

So thanks for visiting, Canadian doggie lovers. You rock!

Love,
Scout and Bandit!!!!!

(* PS: You should check out the bands Downhere and Starfield,  two of our favorite Canadian bands.)

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Mommy is home from #BlogPaws!

Mommy came home from BlogPaws last night and doggone it, we were very happy to see her!

First, Scout got love time with Mommy as soon as she got in the house. Then Mommy let me out of my crate and I was a rocket dog to see her!

After we got done welcoming her home, we helped her unpack. Me and Scout found a great toy from our favorite toymaker Fat Cat Toys in her suitcase. It was a snake with a water bottle inside and it was crunchy and noisy. Me and Scout had a fight over it so I took it outside and ran and ran and Mommy couldn't catch me so I got to keep it.

Then Scout found a tug toy Mommy won from Purrfect Play and we fought over that. Mommy won and gave it to Scout.

Then Murphy got his cat nip toy from Purrfect Play, and he really liked it a lot. So I stole it from him. Mommy took it away from me because it would be a good toy for me to get stuck in my belly and then have to go visit Dr. Simon Kirk at the hospital to have him take pictures of my guts. And we're still paying for the last pictures he took of my guts. So Murphy didn't get a toy.

Then I chewed a hole in the new Fat Cat Toy and Mommy took it away. It lasted a whole half hour! After that, I chewed the tug toy and Mommy took that away, too.

So now we are toyless but we had fun for a while. We ate some biscuits she brought home and nosed around in her briefcase.

We are happy Mommy is home. She took us to the park today to play and we went for a walk. But she needs a nap. She's tired!

LOVE
BANDIT

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Mommy meets my friend Bocci and a naked cat #BlogPaws

Mommy is having fun at BlogPaws and meeting lots of dogs, and I am very mad that she did not bring me with her. Boo on you, Mommy!

She got to meet my blog friend Bocci and he gave her lots of puppy love because Mommy misses us very much. Thanks for loving up our Mommy, Bocci! She gets lonely without us puppies.

Guess what else? Mommy met a naked cat! He doesn't have any hair at all! And he's not naked because his mommy brushed him bald, either. He came straight from God without any hair.

I asked Mommy how the kitty stays warm when he plays Incredible Snow Momster, and she said the kitty's mommy has a whole bunch of clothes for him. I hope she has some long underwear!

Anyway, Mommy said she has met a lot of nice people and she's having a great time. Without me. Which is not fair.

But she said if me and Scout and Murphy and Daddy have been good, she'll bring us home presents. Yeah for BlogPaws!!

Love
Bandit


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A letter from MOMMY at #Blogpaws

Dear Bandit and Scout,

I am at the BlogPaws conference! I miss my puppies.

Scout, you would love all of the people here! There are a lots of people you could kiss and greet.

Bandit, there was some very yummy people food. But guess what? Dogs are not allowed in the rooms when we eat! So you would have had to stay in the room by yourself. I don't think you would like that.

Guess what? Mommy sang the Meow Mix song for the Meow Mix people and they said if I will come and sing it tomorrow on video I can be entered to win a prize. I'll think about it.

I have a whole bag full of treats for you - and even some for Murphy! They gave me lots of fun stuff! I even have some t-shirts so Daddy might like a treat!

Take good care of Daddy!! Give him lots of hugs for me!

LOVE
MOMMY!!!!
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Mommy is on her way to BlogPaws again!

Mommy made two new friends in Baltimore, Kelly and Anthony, and they helped her get a ticket so she can be sure she'll get on the plane to get to BlogPaws.

She won't get there till after it starts and she'll miss some fun tonight - I hope she doesn't miss any monkey! - but she'll get there.

And guess what? Kelly has the very, exact same birthday as Mommy! The same month, day and year! And she only looks like she's 25, too! It must be because she smiles so much.

Anyway, thank you Kelly and Anthony for getting Mommy to her conference. I'll bet she cried. She does that sometimes. Now she can hurry up and come home. And bring presents.

Love
Bandit


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Mommy is not at BlogPaws and she may not get there today!!

Poor Mommy. She is not having an easy time getting to the BlogPaws conference.

She's stuck in Baltimore. Maybe until tomorrow. You can read what happened to her on her blog. http://bit.ly/9TIRTx

Yesterday, she told me that she thought she should just drive and take me with her. But she decided not to. She said her car wasn't running right and she should have just got it fixed on Monday like she wanted and drove.

See, Mommy. You should trust your guts when they are talking to you. And you should always do things with your puppy. Things always work better.

Love
Bandit

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Getting Mommy ready for BlogPaws!

Booo!! Mommy is getting ready for BlogPaws and she is not taking me. She's not taking Scout either, so I feel better.  A little.

I went with Mommy to the credit union so she could deposit Daddy's hamburger paycheck. While she was writing out her notes to the bank, I went to the ATM and took some money out of her accout so me and Scout and Murphy and Daddy can have some party times while she's gone.

Ha ha to you, Mommy! You're not the only one who can have fun!

Mommy, hurry up and come home. I miss you already. And bring us home presents.

Love
Bandit

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Scout has a new reading buddy

Hi, everyone! Scout here! I met my new reading buddy today. His name is Jason and he is very nice.

I was still really nervous in school. To get Jason from class we had to go to the big kid's section of school, up all of the stairs. It was something new and I wasn't sure what to do until Mommy said, "Up!" and raised her hand, like in agility class. Oh, it's an UpUp! I know how to do that!

Jason is very calm and he liked to pet me and let me lick his face. I think I will be able to get used to him very quickly. He is in 6th grade and he knows how to make a dog feel special. We didn't do much reading. We just talked a lot and got to know each other.

I'll keep you posted!

Love
SCOUT!!


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Four days til BlogPaws!

In four days Mommy is going to BlogPaws.

She told Daddy that if her car worked, she might drive and take me with her! Her car doesn't work. But Grandma called last night and said she could use her car if Mommy wanted to drive.

Think about it, Mommy!

Mommy says that me and Scout are both sometimes good dogs to bring places. I am very good in the car; Scout is very good with people. She said between the two of us she has a perfect dog, so me and Scout said she should bring us both!

She said No thank you, puppies. I'll just bring myself this time. I need a break from you all. She is going to let Uncle Eric fly her on the giant plane.

Rats. But we still have a couple of days to get her to change her mind. It helps that we smell like a vacation at the beach after our baths. She likes hugging us and sticking her nose in our fur.

But I think Mommy is looking forward to sleeping in a big bed for a whole night without a dog on top of her.

Love
Bandit


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No good fun goes unwashed

We had a bunch of fun yesterday when our cousin Dali came over. We got dirty and stinky and raced around and rolled in dirt. It was great.

So tonight, Mommy made me and Scout get baths. She and Daddy put us in the bathtub and drowned us with the shower and bubbled us up with soap and then drowned us again with the shower and washed all of our fun down the drain.

We were very good puppies in the bathtub. We each stood very still when it was our turn in there. When we were done, me and Scout went into the living room and shook all of the water all over Daddy's recliner and then Scout rolled around on the rug and I licked all of the water off my paws because Mommy and Daddy did not use enough towels to dry us off. They needed eleventy seven more.

Then we went for a walk in the warm night time to air dry because we're afraid of the hair dryer.

Mommy bought a new shampoo that smells like coconut. She says not only are we clean, we smell like a vacation at the beach.

Well, I'm glad she's happy because I'm not. I liked being stinky.

Love
Bandit

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Happy Easter!

Today was Easter and Grandma, Cassie and my cousin Dali came over to eat and play with us.

Me and Dali and Scout had some good times. Mommy tried to take our picture but one of us kept moving or something. But she finally got a picture where we all looked kind of normal.

Then we did some running and wrestling and playing in the pool and rolling in the dirt.

 

Then I showed Dali how big my chickens are getting. And Dali snuck inside Camp Cluck when Mommy went to check the egg boxes! Bad Dali!

I also introduced her to my friend Abby on the other side of the fence. Dali and Abby did not like each other at all. They showed each other their teeth and growled and barked. I took Dali's side, because what else is a cousin supposed to do? But me and Abby are still friends.

Mommy made some good salads and Daddy cooked some good hamburgers and Grandma brought some good cheesecake and I stole some of all of it off Cassie's dinner plate.

Then after we spent eleventeen hundred hours playing and fighting, we all decided to take a break. I read some of Cassie's homework books about something called philosophy. I don't know who Phil is but he sure uses a lot of big words.

Mommy picked me up and started kissing me. Blech, Mommy! My friends are watching!

And then the day was over. Grandma went home and while Cassie finished her laundry us dogs went inside the house and fell asleep.

We hope you had a nice Easter and got to eat good food and run around with your cousin and even get blechy kisses from your Mommy.

LOVE
BANDIT!!

PS: Hi, Grandma!

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Bandit goes on an adventure to the feed store - again

Because Scout got to go on an adventure with Mommy yesterday to the credit union, I got to go to the feed store today. I had to help Mommy pick out a new waterer for those cranky chickens.

We went to a different place but it's the same store. I'm confused. It has all the same stuff and has the same name but everything is in different places and there are different people there. So I spent some time sniffing and eating all of the extra dog food that fell on the floor and making myself at home while Mommy picked out a waterer.

Then we were going to look at the bunnies but they had a sign that said No dogs in the bunny area! Mommy says that's so the dogs don't scare the bunnies.

That's OK. Mommy probably would have bought a bunny and then Daddy would have had to take away her car keys so she can't go out of the house any more.

The nice lady at the counter gave me biscuits, but at this feed store they do not have a biscuit buffet like at the other feed store. Everyone there was super nice and they thought I was so cute. Hahahaha! They didn't believe that I am a giant pain in the tail to Mommy! I'm such a good faker.

Then I helped the lady at the checkout. "Price check on aisle eleventeen!"

I think if I had to get a job for real (not just a job for April Fools) I could work at the feed store. Look, I know how to work at the cash register. "Good morning, ma'am. Did you find everything you were looking for? Can I interest you in a bunny?"

We did not go to Tim Hortons. That's OK because it was hot out and I wanted to go right home and get a cold drink. Plus, Mommy went to Tim Hortons earlier in the morning, and guess what? She finally won something! A free coffee! I guess my letter to Mrs. Tim Hortons worked!

So that was my adventure. The chickens like their new waterer and it does not leak. I got out of the house. And we are all getting read to take our afternoon nap.

Love

Bandit

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A Letter to Mrs. Tim Hortons

Dear Mrs. Tim Hortons,

Me and my big brother Scout love to go to your house for coffee and donut holes, but we were wondering how come you never invite us to come in? Your husband Mr. Tim Hortons or one of his helpers always has to hand us our coffee out the kitchen window. That isn't very polite to invite a friend over for coffee and then not let them come in.

Mommy says dogs aren't allowed in your dining room because dogs are dirty and stinky and germy and not everyone likes dog hair and dirt in their food.

That's too bad. Maybe you should not worry about having germs so much. It wrecks your fun. Germs aren't so bad. It's worms that you have to worry about.

Do you think you could tell Mr. Tim Hortons that the next time we come over for coffee he needs to give Mommy her coffee in a cup with a rim that rolls up to win? Since you have three million gazillion prizes to give away she might as well get one. She would really like a new SUV so she can take us with her on trips and not have to stuff us in the back seat. But she would be happy with free coffee and donuts, too.

Anyway, keep making those great donut holes and coffee! Even if we can't come into your house, we still love coming to visit!

Love,
Bandit

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Mommy makes Scout and Bandit get jobs

Hi, everyone! Scout here!

Mommy has decided that me and Bandit cost her too much money so she made us both get jobs.

Bandit started his job today. He is working at the zoo herding penguins. The penguin tank has a giant hole in it so while the workers fix it, he will make sure no penguins escape. He can almost fit a whole chicken head in his mouth but penguins are bigger so those birds will be safe.

I got a job at the Pittsford Federal Credit Union. I am on on my coffee break right now so I thought I would tell you about it.

First I met my new bosses, Ms. Pati Falzone and Mr. Bill Martin. They are very nice. Mr. Martin is the top dog at the credit union!

Then I met some of my other coworkers. This is me and Mei Ling. She is nice and she let me practice making withdrawals from a Biscuit Club Account.

Then I got to work. This is me at my new desk. I had to ask for help. "Hey, Mei Ling! Someone wants to deposit a biscuit. What's the code for a Biscuit Club Account? I forgot already!"

Then I went to Tim Horton's for a donut on my coffee break.

And so that's what my day at my new job was like ... on APRIL 1st!!

HAHAHAHA!! APRIL FOOLS!!!

Me and Bandit didn't have to get jobs!! We're outside right now, barking for Mommy to come out and play. It's all a big joke!!!

Except the part about Tim Hortons. After me and Mommy went to the credit union, we really did go to Tim Hortons for Tim Bits and coffee because she said I was such a good dog and let everyone play with me and I posed for silly pictures like a good boy.

And there really is a hole in the penguin tank at the zoo, but they would never hire Bandit to herd penguins. He would eat them.

We hope you have a funny April Fools Day!!! Trick your Mommy with a good trick!!!

Love
SCOUT!!!!!


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