Dear Bo Obama,
Hi, paw pal! How's life in the White House?
My brother Scout read me your new book today. I guess I know now why it took so long for you to go live at the White House. It wasn't because you had to go to puppy school first. You should have just wrote me back a letter. You don't have to be embarrassed.
The book says that after you were born in Texas, you went to live with a family and that you didn't get along there and had to go back to live with the farmer.
Bo, tell me the truth. What did you do that made them send you back?
I need to know because Mommy is always saying that if I don't stop being bad she's going to send me back to Kim's farm. I don't think she really will. I mean, I've done some pretty bad stuff and she still loves me.
I've chewed up a lot of her clothes. I ate some books and papers and magazines. I put big teeth marks in her get-money-from-the-machine card. I pooped in the house. I ate medicine from her purse and made her spend about forty-leven million dollars at the vet. I hog the whole bed, put dirt on the sheets, and fight all the time with my brother. I'm a barkaholic. And I eat poop and have worms a lot.
Whatever you did must have been pretty bad, so I need to know how bad I can be before Mommy really does send me back to the farm.
Anyway, I hope you sell a bazillion books. It's got a lot of pretty pictures and it tastes pretty good so I think people will like it.
Maybe now your daddy the President will finally put your picture up on the White House website and give you a party for being with the First Family for more than a year. You're way overdo for a party.
Let me know when you want us to come over and run around in the Rose Garden!
Your friend,
Bandit
Related Post: Bandit writes a letter to Bo Obama
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